


Through Your Eyes

by your_local_mook



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, F/M, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Healing, Help, Human Experimentation, Hydra (Marvel), I PROMISE IT'S GOOD OK, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Implied/Referenced Torture, Marvel Universe, Minor Violence, Ok but if it's implied do I still need a warning???, Past Brainwashing, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:33:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 23,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23592409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_local_mook/pseuds/your_local_mook
Summary: A year after Civil War, Tony made the most nerve-wracking phone call in his life.The result?A year after that call, the entire Avengers team is well and back together, with a certain ex-Winter Soldier joining the family.Now a new threat is on the rise. Whatever little remained of Hydra has multiplied, with a new wave of influence spreading across the globe. In their bid to keep the New Hydra in check, the Avengers discover a hidden ally taking down Hydra in secret. Determined to uncover this ally, the team send in Bucky to retrieve whoever it is, only to uncover that super soldiers and technological warfare were never Hydra's biggest plans.In addition to that, Bucky may realise just how far Hydra's metal manipulation schemes went... and how he can save whatever remains of someone who has survived them.
Relationships: Bucky/OC, James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 18





	1. ~ Prologue ~

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so, I realise that my paragraphing is whack, but that shouldn't be too much of a problem... right?

_Zermatt, Switzerland ___

__They were taken in kicking and screaming. Three girls and three boys, all fighting as they were dragged into the seemingly abandoned winter lodge nestled deep within the snow, hidden by the folds of the surrounding mountains. The families of the children - aged from between twelve and sixteen - were forced into silence. The town of Zermatt would never know that six of their precious young ones had been taken._ _

__The screaming continued for years. Ordinary citizens never heard it, and the monsters who elicited those sounds chose to ignore it. One by one, the screams became silent, until only a solitary voice remained._ _

__“She’s the one?”  
“Yes. The eldest. She has survived all our tests, and continues to show strength.”  
“Good. Begin phase two.”  
“But sir… phase two is still faulty.”  
“There can be no success without risk. Begin phase two immediately.”  
“The subject will need to be prepared. It will take some time. She will need to… disassociate.”  
“Then break her.”_ _


	2. ~ One ~

_Avengers Compound, New York ___

___11 Years Later ____ _

____“These guys just can’t stay down, can they?”_ _ _ _

____Steve Rogers, more commonly known as Captain America, was pondering over the details of his last few missions in the midday sun. Muscular arms braced against the table, the sleeves of his midnight blue shirt rolled up to his elbows, Rogers flicked through a tablet containing various reports from team members, locations, and the successful elimination of several new HYDRA bases._ _ _ _

____“Well, like they said,” Tony Stark replied from beside him while scoffing down cashew nuts. He had traded his Iron Man suit earlier for a plain grey t-shirt and sweatpants. “You cut off one head, two more grow back. Of course, your little Brooklyn buddy’s popularity two years ago didn’t help. And Nat’s little exposition before that. God, it’s like baby-booming but with cultists.”  
“It’s nothing we can’t handle. We’ll take them out again.” Steve crossed his arms, glancing over at his friend. “And, Tony? Thanks for calling back. It really means a lot to me that neither of us has to do this alone.”  
Tony went silent for a beat, then nodded. “Me too, Cap.”_ _ _ _

____Two years. That’s how long it’s been since the Accords had been brought up. Since Zemo’s exposure of Bucky, revealing that he had killed Tony’s parents. Two years since Steve walked out with his best friend, but promising to have Tony’s back if he needs it. All he had to do was call. One year later, he did just that._ _ _ _

____“Thanks for bringing Bucky in as well,” Steve continued. “I really thought you’d say no.”  
Tony popped another cashew in his mouth.  
“Y’know, I may be a narcissistic over glorified mechanic, but even I can see reason. Sometimes. Plus, I’ve had a lot of time to think about it.” He looked down at his cashew packet, then offered it to Steve. “Last two, you want them?” Steve politely refused, leaving Tony to shrug and eat the remaining nuts. ”Anyway, he’s pretty useful around here. He knows more about Hydra’s workings than most of us. Add that to our new intel, and boom! Instant bad guy tracker.”  
“Only, it’s not so instant. I bet you a lot of their camps have slipped under our radar.”  
“Maybe. I found a silver lining this morning, though.”  
Steve straightened up.  
“Really? What is it?”_ _ _ _

____Discarding the empty packet, Tony jerked his head towards one of the extravagantly large holographic wall monitors. Steve followed him to it, and watched as the screens began to change according to Tony’s hand movements. In the years that the ex-frozen soldier had been here, he still hadn’t gotten a grip on how Stark’s crazy technology worked. Kind of like how he still gets confused as to which switch turns on the lights for the dining room and which for the kitchen._ _ _ _

____“This,” Stark said as he put up a particular image on screen, “is every single Hydra base and minor camp that we know about at the moment.”  
“Right.” Steve scanned the screens with his eyes, noting the white blips on pinging on a digital map of the world.  
“And _this _is how many have been taken out so far.”  
Tony clicked something on the monitor, and a number of the blips turned red. The first avenger immediately knew something was wrong.  
“We didn’t take those out,” he frowned. Steve moved a finger over an area of the screen, specifically to four red blips. Three were in eastern France, while the third was in southwest Germany.  
“Exactly, that’s the thing,” Tony said. “I checked out one of the sites while you were gone last time, and guess what? No trace of whoever took it out, no fingerprints, no security footage, nothing.”  
“How do you know it wasn’t an accident?”  
“Dead bodies everywhere. Every single piece of tech was literally fried - actually, that explains the footage problem - even backup generators and physical files had been wiped out. Whoever it was, they knew exactly what they were doing, and they were damn good at it. The only problem is, are they friendly?”  
Steve crossed his arms.  
“Whether they’re friendly or not doesn’t matter if they keep severing any leads we might get from these destroyed bases.”  
“Right. Unless they know more than us.”  
“Are you saying they might be ex-Hydra?”  
“Maybe.” Tony leaned against a nearby table. “All I’m saying is that they’re one-upping us, Cap. Those hits? They were all in the space of a few months. We couldn’t even get two hits in that timeframe. They’ve got inside info, and we need it. Badly.”___ _ _ _

______Steve was quiet for a long moment._  
“Assuming that it really is one person behind all of this, how do we find them?”  
“Simple. We follow the breadcrumbs.” The millionaire pointed to the screen. “Based on the timing, they’re moving further into France. There’s a Hydra safehouse close to their latest target, and I’m betting that’s where our buddy, or buddies, will strike next.”  
“I wanna know more about them first. How many there are, for starters. We could send a small team to investigate, have them relay the information to us.”  
“Right. In the meantime?”  
“We keep sorting through what we do know. Keep planning. Hopefully we can kill two birds with one stone.”  
Tony nodded, scanning the screen once more. He couldn’t argue with Steve. They really were needed here, but they could get by on half the team if needs be.  
“So who’s going?”_ _ _ _ _


	3. ~ Two ~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By the way I copied and pasted all of these from Google docs with little editing, so if you find something that doesn't make sense, I'm sorry.

_Forêt d'Orient Natural Regional Park, France ___

__Not all cycling tracks are a line in the dirt telling you where to go. Some are just a marker telling you where you should go._ _

__Just like not all trees are just ancient, slow growing beings of the forest. Some are guardians of a hidden treasure or something of that sort. In this case, it’s a place._ _

__For exactly in the middle of a cycling track in this particular French regional park, off to the right, lies a particular tree, which marks the entrance for a particular safehouse. The same Hydra safehouse that the Quinjet and its three occupants were heading for in the middle of the night._ _

__“You sure we’ll find them here?” Bucky asked as he put on his armbands and weapons, the metal fingers of his other hand glinting as they worked the straps.  
“Relax,” Natasha said from the pilot seat. “Tony reckons we will.”  
“That’s what worries me.”  
Natasha looked back and smirked at the joke.  
“Do you want me to hold your hand when you tell him that we came up empty handed?”  
“Ha. Ha. Very funny.”  
The third occupant, who had been quiet for most of the trip, finally spoke up.  
“Don’t worry,” Wanda added in. “I’m sure Stark isn’t as scary once he’s had his morning coffee.”  
The soldier had had enough. He sighed and rolled his eyes.  
“Are you two finished? C’mon, we got a job to do.”_ _

__Stealth was the main objective here, so with Natasha and the Quinjet hovering in the distance, Bucky led Wanda through the park, slipping in and out through the trees. No powers were allowed, as having something bright and shiny and red would signal to everyone, “Hey! We’re two Avengers sneaking around! Come and get us!” Wanda was there as backup in case everything went to hell. Which, in their case, it usually did.  
“Don’t worry,” Bucky whispered as they neared the entrance to the safehouse. “All we gotta do is stay hidden, so we’ll be in and out of here with no problems.” He smiled at Wanda. “Hopefully.”  
“Thirty dollars says we won’t.”  
“Forty.”  
“Deal.”_ _

__Once they arrived at the entrance, Bucky made to pull open a trapdoor hidden under the fallen leaves, Wanda ready to warp the minds of anyone they encounter, so that they think her and Bucky aren’t there. However, as soon as his metal arm touched the handle, the soldier froze.  
“What is it?” Wanda asked.  
“We’re too late.” He flung open the door. “Someone’s already inside.”  
Indeed, there were sounds of people screaming, punctuated by gunshots. Lots of them.  
“Then what are we waiting for?” Wanda asked, before flying down the stairs. Bucky followed behind, gun up, his solitary curse the only response out of his mouth._ _

__The safehouse was less of a house, more of a bunker, with intimidating stone walls and corridors, and no natural light. At that moment, though, the “safe” bunker had become a warzone. By the time the duo had reached the bottom of the steps, everyone in the room had been killed, scarlet blood dripping down the walls and pooling on the floor. Bucky quickly counted six bodies.  
“Jesus Christ,” he breathed. Another gunshot snapped him out of his momentary daze. “Look for survivors,” was all he instructed Wanda, before he sprinted towards the source of the sound. The continued sounds of fighting came from further in the bunker-like labyrinth than he’d initially thought, but he was gaining on it. Soon. Just a few more turns and-_ _

__They stopped._ _

__Bucky heard someone drop their gun and slowed down, cautious of what he would find. Silence followed his steps. One, two, three steps in, and he heard scrambling, like a cornered animal fighting to get out. Bucky bolted, but just as he rounded that final corner, and burst into the only room in that section of the safehouse, silence fell again. He quickly scanned his surroundings, but only found more bodies, more blood. No sign of the attacker, or attackers.  
“Where the hell did you go?”  
Guns still raised, Bucky stepped further into the room, purposefully kicking the bodies to make sure they were actually killed. It wouldn’t have been the first time someone’s played dead. Something brushed against the back of Bucky’s foot, and he immediately whirled around, gun poised and ready, only to find a black cat with brilliant blue eyes sitting calmly in the blood behind him.  
“What the hell?”  
The cat just stared at him, as if assessing the soldier, tail twitching every now and then while its eyes never left his face. Bucky was about to call out for Wanda when he noticed them: boot prints, on the wall behind the cat, smeared as if somebody had scrambled up the wall. His gaze shot up, but by then it was too late, as a figure jumped from the top of the open door and crashed straight into him._ _

__Bucky struck the ground hard, his gun clattering away from him, out of his reach. He kicked the figure off of him, and heard them roll away with a grunt. Bucky scrambled to his feet, watching the other person do the same, and stood between them and the door. Both of them had their fists raised, watching each other closely as a standoff ensued. Bucky could tell the figure was female, definitely, but thanks to the body armor and plain, black full-face mask, he couldn’t glean anything else from his attacker._ _

__“I’m guessing you’re not friendly with Hydra?” Bucky asked.  
“Are you?” the woman asked back. Her strong European accent was evident, even through the mask. Polish, if Bucky were to guess.  
“No. I got the same amount of love for them as you do.”  
The woman seemed to consider him, letting the silence hang between them as she came to a decision.  
“I’m not taking any chances.”  
Just then, the cat - who Bucky had completely forgotten about until then - leapt up with a yowl and tried to scratch the soldier. Distracted, Bucky didn’t have time to block the elbow that the woman slammed into the side of his face, followed by a powerful punch to the gut. He grunted at the impact and threw the cat off, grabbing the woman’s arm and twisting it, earning a cry of pain from her.  
“Stand down now and I’ll make this easy for you,” he ordered.  
“I’m not going back.”_ _

__The damn cat came after him again, but this time, Bucky was prepared. He swatted the animal away, giving him enough time to kick the woman in the back of her legs, making her fall to her knees. With her other hand, the female elbowed him in the groin area, then grabbed his arm with both hands and flipped him over her shoulder. Bucky pulled her down with him, then rolled on top, pinning her down with his knees. She punched his face once, twice, and at the third punch, rolled him over, using her entire weight. Now she had him pinned. She kept the punches coming, again and again, even as Bucky tried to block them. He risked a shot at her side with his metal arm, hearing a crack emanating from her body. She yelled out, and the momentary pause was enough for Bucky to regain control. He backhanded her, hard, sending her sprawling, and in doing so, ripped her mask off. The soldier hauled himself to his feet, watching the woman kneel on the floor, panting hard and holding her cracked ribs. He watched her look up at him, anger and pain contorting and staining her face in the ugliest way possible. But what struck him the most was her eyes. They were both milky white, and never focused on anything. She was blind._ _

__“What the hell?”  
The woman scrambled to her feet and fled out the now unprotected door, following the cat, which had exited a split second beforehand. Bucky cursed and sprinted after her, but didn’t need to. The woman ran straight into a wall of Wanda’s power, and instantly dropped to the ground, unconscious.  
“What took you so long, Wanda?!”  
“You said to look for survivors. I had to check all the rooms,” the witch explained. Behind her was the cat, trapped in a bubble of power and meowing furiously. “Who’s your new friend?”  
“Don’t know yet. She tried to kill me. We should take her back to the compound and see what the others make of her.”  
“Agreed.” Wanda looked down at the unconscious woman, then glanced at the cat. “You owe me forty dollars.”_ _


	4. ~ Three ~

_Avengers Compound, New York ___

__It had only been ten minutes since Bucky, Wanda, and Natasha came back, and Bucky was already rummaging around in the fridge for food._ _

__Their two captives didn’t kick up a fuss through the entire journey back, mainly because the woman didn’t wake up in the jet. They moved her immediately to a small holding cell near the back of the compound, where Natasha was waiting for her to wake up, so that her “interrogation” could start. Bucky didn’t care. He just wanted food. And a good nap._ _

__“I heard things didn’t go exactly according to plan,” Steve said as he leaned against the kitchen counter, the gold of his hair shining. “I also heard you owe Wanda forty bucks.”  
“By the time we got there, our little friend already killed most of the occupants.” Bucky frowned. “Where the hell did you put the spaghetti?”  
“On the bottom shelf. Is she anyone we know?”  
“No.” The brown-haired male closed the fridge door with one hand, holding a large bowl of spaghetti in the other. “But I get the feeling she knows Hydra pretty well.”  
“I also get the feeling she almost beat your ass!” called out a voice from the dining table.  
“Didn’t even come close to it,” Bucky retaliated. “But she could’ve easily beaten yours, bird man.”  
“Whatever.”_ _

__The voice belonged to Sam Wilson, a.k.a the Falcon, a.k.a the biggest pain in Bucky’s neck. He sat at the table with his own bowl of food, wearing a black shirt and navy blue nylon pants. Sam smirked at Bucky, the latter rolling his eyes before heating up his food.  
“Even if she could beat me,” Sam continued, “I would have let her. Hell, I’m sayin’ it, I would’ve been a gentleman and taken a few punches, and let her win. That’s how you win a lady over. But nah, the big bad wolf over here just had to bust a rib-”  
“You talk too much,” was all Bucky said. He got his food from the microwave and trudged over to the living room, settling into one of the couches to eat. Steve, still leaning against the counter, turned to Sam._ _

__“Do you guys ever stop?”  
Another smirk from the Falcon.  
“Nope. I just love watching him burn.”  
“Yeah, I can see that.” Steve lifted himself off the counter edge. “I’m gonna go see if any of the others need help.”  
Sam gave him a thumbs up, but just as soon as Steve turned to leave, Natasha came into the kitchen.  
“I need help.”  
“What’s wrong?” he asked, immediately concerned.  
“Our visitor isn’t talking. At all. Which means I can’t get anything out of her.”  
“Have you tried good cop, bad cop?” Sam asked.  
“I’ve tried everything that doesn’t involve physically touching her. Nothing.”  
Steve chewed the inside of his bottom lip, trying to think of a solution. An idea slowly formed in his mind, and he subtly nodded to himself.  
“See if you can find Wanda for me,” he instructed, before heading off to where Bucky was._ _

__“Did she talk to you?” Steve asked his friend. “Either of you? While you two were inside?”  
“Well,” Bucky began through a mouthful of food. “She did talk to me. Didn’t get a chance to talk to Wanda because, you know, she got knocked out. Why?”  
“She’s not speaking to Nat. At all. I was hoping maybe you two could get somewhere with her.”  
Bucky swallowed his half-chewed food and put the fork down.  
“You want me to interrogate her?”  
“No. I want you to get her to open up.”  
“While Nat watches through the live feed?”  
“She’d have to, yes.”  
Bucky nodded, making another swirl of spaghetti.  
“What should I say?”  
“It won’t be just you, Wanda will be there as well. And just… talk about anything. Something to get her to open up. Whatever we can get out of her will be helpful, even if it sounds crazy or meaningless.”  
Another nod from the soldier, and he shovelled another forkful of food in his mouth.  
“There goes my nap. Give me twenty minutes.”_ _

__Twenty minutes and a full shower later, and Bucky stood in front of their captive’s cell. Both of them had swapped their usual uniform for more casual attire; Wanda opting for a small black skirt, leggings, and a light grey top, while Bucky chose to wear his pyjamas.  
“Why?” Wanda asked.  
“Why not? She’s blind, she won’t see me in this. And honestly, I don’t give a damn.”  
Wanda held her hands up in mock surrender, trying not to giggle at the sight of this built, scruffy looking soldier wrapped in light blue flannel with cloud patterns on it. The cell door opened, and both the witch and the soldier immediately turned serious as they stepped forward._ _

__The cell was a large room divided a quarter of the way in two by a wall of three inch thick, bulletproof glass. On Bucky and Wanda’s side of the glass were two chairs facing the wall. On the other side was another chair, a single bed, a simple sink, a closed off toilet, and their mystery woman, sitting calmly cross-legged on the floor. Now that all her gear had been removed, replaced by grey shirt and slacks, and she had been cleaned up, Bucky was able to see more of her features clearly._ _

__She was skinny, much skinnier than he expected, but knew that there was strength behind that image. Her triangular face was gaunt, dark purple bags hanging beneath those milky white eyes, and framed by dark caramel hair that hung in limp waves around her head. If Bucky didn’t know any better, he could have sworn he was staring at a ghost._ _

__“Hello,” Bucky began. “Don’t know if you recognised my voice, but I’m the guy you ran into at the safehouse.” Bucky sat down in one of the chairs, followed by Wanda, who he motioned to to speak.  
“And I’m the one who knocked you unconscious with my powers,” the Scarlet Witch said. “My name is Wanda.”  
The woman’s head jerked up in recognition.  
“Wanda? Wanda Maximoff?” she asked.  
A nervous exchange of glances.  
“Yes. How did you know?”  
“They talked about you. A lot.”  
“Who?” Bucky asked.  
“Hydra.” The captive scowled. “Wanda Maximoff and her brother were their golden children. Did you enjoy killing for them, witch? Did you enjoy your little gift of carnage that those monsters gave you? And what of your brother, did he share your joy?”  
“My brother is dead,” Wanda snapped, her voice firm despite the tightness in her throat. “And I am not part of Hydra. Not anymore. I’ve seen them for what they are, really.”  
The blind woman’s shoulders slowly sagged, her expression vacant. The fingers of one hand curled into a fist, so tight her knuckles turned white.  
“Do you really?” she whispered._ _

__Realisation dawned on Bucky, and he could see from Wanda’s wide-eyed expression that she had reached the same conclusion.  
“You didn’t volunteer,” he said.  
“No. I had no reason to. They promise us gifts, but all we get is pain.” Her voice steadily rose, anger simmering from within her, coating each word. “But you never saw that, did you, witch? No, you gladly opened your arms, accepting whatever twisted ideas and experiments they threw at you, not realising why, and not realising what you lose along the way. You never see what you become. Well, I saw! I saw, and I felt, and I died by their hands! The same hands which broke me, but cradled you!” She took a few ragged breaths, wincing at the pain in her side. “No matter what you claim to be, you will always be Hydra to me. I only wish you had died with your brother.”_ _

__Bucky threw a worried glance in Wanda’s direction. He could feel her power crackling off of her, like a lightning bolt waiting to strike. Wanda’s eyes burned with fire… then died down. She stood up, whirled around, and left without a single word. The door slid shut behind her, closing off the silence left in the room. Bucky tried to make himself feel a shred of anger, and kind of biting response to what the woman had said to his friend, but he couldn't. He couldn’t bring himself to, because he knew exactly where that hatred for Hydra had come from: pain. Years of it._ _

__“Aren’t you going to leave, too?” the woman asked. Bucky sighed.  
“No. Because I know exactly how you feel.”  
“How could you possibly know?” she scorned.  
“Because I am- was the Winter Soldier.”  
She froze at the name, eyes going wide.  
“You’re the Asset.”  
“Yes.”  
Fear coated her facial features.  
“Are you going to kill me? Send me back?”  
Bucky felt a pang of hurt at the words.  
“No. I’m here to make sure you stay as far away from them as possible, and that you’re safe. Hydra has no control over me anymore. I’m with the Avengers.”  
“I know. But the words… they have words… they can get you back.” She pushed herself against the wall, almost willing it to disappear so she could run, hide, do anything to get away from him. “They can get us back.”  
Us. Another sting in Bucky’s chest.  
“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” Bucky soothed. “Hydra can’t get to me anymore. It took a while, but those trigger words can’t get to me anymore.”  
“How do you know?”  
“I had help. A lot of recovery, a lot of brain scanning, a near-fatal accident, but I’m never going back to Hydra again. And neither are you.” The woman visibly relaxed, and Bucky let out a silent sigh. He tried a different approach. “What’s your name?”  
“Jadzia.”  
Bucky smiled, even though she couldn’t see it.  
“Jadzia,” he echoed. “That’s a nice name. You can call me Bucky.” Jadzia nodded, but didn’t offer anything else. “You want something to eat?”  
She shook her head, and Bucky shrugged, standing up. He made a mental note not to use visual cues around her too much.  
“I’ll get you something anyway. Any preferences?”  
Another shake of the head. Bucky recognised the quiet, and didn’t push it. He just pursed his lips and exited the room, leaving Jadzia to dwell in a well of memories._ _


	5. ~ Four ~

_Avengers Compound, New York_

_Four hours later ___

__“Let me help her.”_ _

__Bucky, still in his pyjamas, was sitting on the edge of the couch, watching Steve, Tony, and Natasha’s faces as he basically pleaded his case. All the rest of the Avengers had retired to their separate rooms, including Vision, even though he couldn’t sleep. Bucky wanted Jadzia to be let out of her cell, so that he could help her through her pain, just as Steve had helped him through his, but there were some concerns.  
“What if she’s playing you?” Tony asked, concerned.  
“I’m wounded that you think Natasha is the only assassin in here capable of reading body language,” Bucky replied, deadpan.  
“I have to agree with Tony here,” Steve interjected. “I know you see her in the same position you were in years ago, but there is still a lot we don’t know about her.”  
“Then give me time to talk to her. Five minutes, every day, at least. Natasha already determined that she wasn’t used as a weapon, despite what I’ve seen her do, so we can rule that out. She could just be a torture victim.”  
“Buck-”  
“Please?”_ _

__Steve and Tony exchanged a glance. The latter looked down at the floor, chewed his lip, then nodded.  
“Take as much time as you want,” Stark said. “Even in casual conversation she could tell us more about Hydra.”  
“I’m not using her,” Bucky argued.  
“No,” Steve cut in solemnly. “But we are.”  
Bucky couldn’t argue any further. He knew they were going to do what they needed to. He also didn’t want to overwhelm Jadzia. She was already terrified of him as it was. With nothing better to do, Bucky stood up and announced that he was going to bed. Tomorrow was another day._ _

__Jadzia’s cell door swooshed open the next morning, to reveal Bucky carrying a plate of scrambled eggs on toast in one hand, and a mug of tea in the other. He saw Jadzia jerk upright in her small bed, immediately regretting it as pain spliced through her ribs.  
“Easy. I got breakfast.”  
Bucky watched the woman’s face perk up slightly at the mention of food. He tried not to remember how Jadzia had wolfed down lunch and dinner yesterday, as if they were her first real meals in a long time. They probably were._ _

__Bucky keyed in a code that opened a small door in the bottom right corner of the glass wall and slid the food in, placing the mug gently down so that the liquid contents wouldn’t spill. As soon as the small door closed and Bucky backed away, Jadzia slid out of bed and placed a hand on the glass wall. She followed it to the other side of the room, letting her hand and feet guide her to the food. It was only when her toes touched the edge of the plate that she sat down and, as before, began devouring her food._ _

__“How did you get around? Back at the safehouse?” Bucky asked.  
Jadzia, with her mouth full of food, took a good amount of chewing before she was able to reply.  
“Mátia helped me.”  
“Who’s that?”  
“My cat.” Jadzia grinned. “The one who nearly clawed your face off.”  
Right. That cat. The same cat who was hissing and attacking the air when Wanda shoved it into a cat cage in the corner of Thor’s room. The Asgardian was away on “realm business”. She was sure he wouldn’t mind.  
“How does he-”  
“She,” Jadzia corrected.  
“Right, sorry. How does she help you see?”  
The woman’s chewing slowed then stopped as she swallowed her food.  
“Long story.”  
Bucky sat down on one of the chairs.  
“I got time.”  
“No, you don’t.”  
Bucky sucked in a breath. He’d have to be careful now.  
“At least tell me the basics? Please? I’ll share my story if you share yours.”  
Jadzia paused.  
“And what happens if I don’t tell you?”  
“Then I’ll walk away. Simple as that. I promise.”  
Another pause, another moment when Bucky thought he might have stepped too far._ _

__“I was sixteen,” Jadzia began, and Bucky sagged in relief. “We were visiting some of my cousins in Zermatt, Switzerland, for the holidays. We were having dinner one night, and they came.”  
“Hydra.” Jadzia nodded.  
“They threatened to kill my family if they reported me missing. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. We were taken - me and five other children - to a lab in the mountains. We were tortured. Experimented on. I kept blacking out, but I remember needles, hot metal, chemicals, angry voices… they did that to us for god knows how long. One by one, we died until… until I was left.” Jadzia lost her appetite, and shoved the plate away. Not that there was much left on it. “They called it phase two. Hydra wanted to see if they could remove the consciousness of a person from one body to another. Controlled, of course, to suit their own needs. It was an early idea of Johann Schmidt, but thrown away when he discovered the super soldier serum. The new Hydra, they picked up again, worked on it, and when I survived, they made me the test subject. But to do that, they needed to… break me.” Jadzia swallowed hard. “They almost succeeded. I couldn’t tell whether I was in my own body sometimes. I would see them one moment, then see myself through their eyes. I was unstable, however, so they tried to upgrade their technology to contain me. It failed. There was an explosion, and since I was in a containment unit, I survived. No one else did. The light blinded me, and in my panic, I latched a part of my consciousness onto the closest living thing I could: Mátia. That’s how I can see through her.” Jadzia quickly wiped her eyes, tears shining in them. “That was all four years ago.”_ _

__Bucky loosed a breath he’d been holding. He knew exactly how cruel Hydra could be to its little guinea pigs, but… Jesus, she was just a kid at that time. A kid.  
“Hydra didn’t want me as a weapon,” Jadzia continued. “They wanted to see if it could be possible, so that they could apply it to their leaders. Make them live longer, become stronger.” Her head tilted up slightly, as if she was trying to determine where Bucky’s face was. “I wanted to get back at Hydra. Make them pay. What they took from me… I wanted to take it from them.”  
“Is that what you’ve been trying to do ever since the explosion?” Bucky asked. Jadzia chewed the insides of her cheeks. Her tone turned painfully soft.  
“It took a long time to get up, but when I did… yes. It was the only thing on my mind. It was the only thing I had. Besides Mátia, of course.”  
“Do you control her?”  
“No. I merely… persuade her. It’s difficult to explain, but the closest I can get is that it’s a mutual understanding.”  
Bucky nodded, more to himself than as a sign of understanding. Not that she would be able to see it.  
“Would it be better for you if I brought Mátia here to stay with you?”  
Jadzia nodded in earnest. It was probably the most cheerful thing Bucky had seen her do so far, and was grateful for it. He collected her dirty dishes, making sure she was well away from the door, and left to see a Stark about a cat. Baby steps, he thought to himself. After all, it wasn’t easy when he was recovering, either._ _


	6. ~ Five ~

_West Coast airspace, USA ___

__The Quinjet soared through the air with incredible speed, its occupants more than ready to be home after an unexpected encounter with tech smugglers. Then again, chasing possible leads always came up with something unexpected._ _

__It had been three weeks since Jadzia had arrived in the complex, and since then, she has been a remarkable source of information. With just herself and Mátia, Jadzia was only able to hit the Hydra bases one at a time, with limited transportation in between. With the Avengers, they were able to get three hits within three weeks. Hydra were worried now, some of the members disbanding, while other groups moved further underground. The former option was more favoured, though. It seems like the new Hydra didn’t have as much resolve as the old one. Overall, it was a big win for the team._ _

__“I still can’t believe what’s-her-name had all that info in her head,” Rhodey said from the “back seat” of the Quinjet. He was looking over his War Machine suit, which had been temporarily disabled due to a lucky shot. “Even Natasha couldn’t weasel it out of the guys we caught.”  
“First of all, our cute data centre has a name,” Sam retorted from the other side of the jet. “Second of all, even Natasha’s got limits. Besides, we didn’t even catch that many Hydra rookies to begin with. And that’s all they were: rookies. You really think they would know anything?”  
“You made your point.”  
“Third of all,’ Sam continued, grinning, “you can’t see through other people’s eyes even when they’re half a mile away from you.”  
“Ok, I get it!”  
“It’s actually less than half a mile,” Bucky added form the pilot seat. “And it tires her out, so Jadzia only uses it when she needs to.” He smirked. “And you really think she’s cute?”  
Sam flipped him off, earning a similar gesture in return. It’s true, with Jadzia’s health slowly returning to her, colour had begun to return to her fuller facial features, and her figure resembled a skeleton a little less now. She had also begun smiling, even if it was only at her cat._ _

__“Speaking of her,” Bucky continued, “do you think it’s time we let her out of her cell?”  
“I’ve been thinking about that, actually,” Rhodey said. “I mean, she’s been a great ally so far, I think she’s earned it.”  
“And don’t you think she’s had enough of cages?” Sam supplied. “We should talk to Tony about it when we get home.”  
“How well do you think that’s gonna go?”_ _

__“No.”  
Back at the Avengers facility, things were going just as well as everyone expected them to: terribly.  
“Why not?” Rhodey asked.  
“She’s still new, still just an asset. We’ll wait one more week at least.”  
Bucky, who stood a little way off from Rhodey, winced at the mention of Jadzia being an asset.  
“And what then?” Rhodey kept countering. “Another week after that? And another? I know you got major trust issues, Tony, but this girl needs our help just as much as we need hers.”  
Tony threw his hands up in surrender.  
“Alright, you got me. But I don’t wanna let loose something that’ll either get the better of us or tear us apart.”  
“She won’t,” Bucky finally murmured.  
“Looking into a mirror, Barnes?”  
“Something like that.”  
Tony sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. Both Barnes and Rhodey stayed silent, waiting for the verdict._ _

__Jadzia heard the cell door sliding open, and immediately, the little furball in her arms hopped away from her, glaring at whoever came through. Jadzia chuckled when she recognised, through the furball’s eyes, the long-haired brunet male who strode in, armour still on._ _

__“Sorry,” the woman said to Bucky as he stopped in front of the glass all, staring back at the cat. “Mátia still isn’t used to you.”  
“Hey, as long as she’s not hissing at me anymore, I’m fine.” Bucky knelt down and tapped the glass just inches from the black cat’s face. It and Jadzia had the same perspective, though, it looked as if Bucky was staring right at her. “Hey, you little punk. Yeah, I’m still pissed at you, too, but you’re the one who started it. Don’t forget that.”_ _

__Jadzia felt the beginnings of a chuckle bubble up from within, but it died out somewhere in her throat.  
“Having any luck with Hydra?” she asked instead. Ever since Barnes had been true to his word and told his story, the woman felt more comfortable around him. She knew about his life in Brooklyn (what he remembered of it, as well as what Steve had told him), about his time with Hydra, his recovery, everything. In turn, Jadzia had supplied him with not just information about Hydra, but a few extra details about herself. Like how she couldn’t bring herself to speak in Polish anymore, because it reminded her too much of how she used to scream in her mother tongue while Hydra tortured her._ _

__“We’re getting more and more leads every day, thanks to you,” Bucky replied, still staring at Mátia. He poked out his tongue at the cat, and it returned the gesture.  
“Do you need help with your next mission?” Jadzia asked.  
“Actually, I’m here to help you out instead.”  
Jadzia blinked in surprise. “Oh?”  
“Yup. I’m here to get you out.”  
Jadzia’s mouth hung open, and through Mátia’s eyes, she could see Bucky smiling at her.   
“I’m allowed to go?” she finally managed. “I’m really allowed out of this room?”  
“Absolutely. It took a bit of convincing, but Stark says he’s alright with it. We’d all prefer it if you stayed in the facility, but if you want to get out into the world, that’s fine too. As long as you keep in contact with us.”_ _

__Jadzia sat, stunned. This was her chance at freedom, another chance, but instead of her having to take it forcefully, it was being offered to her. Not by an accident, or a small window of opportunity, but by an actual person. Someone who knew how it felt to be caged as well. Some small part of her wanted to smile, cracking through the anger she kept.  
“I don’t have anywhere else to go,” she whispered. Bucky gave her another soft smile.  
“Then allow me to show you to your room.”_ _

__Jadzia was apprehensive as she was let out of her cell, but once she became comfortable with the concept of everything being open, she happily let Bucky guide her through the facility. Barnes essentially gave her a tour of the whole compound, glancing every now and then at her, while she held Mátia in her arms. They ran into the rest of the Avengers along the way. Apart from Wanda, they all greeted Jadzia cordially. The Scarlet Witch merely gave her a tight-lipped smile and kept walking._ _

__“Things are still not going well between you two?” Bucky asked.  
“She visited me a few times,” Jadzia replied. “We tried talking, but I can’t shake off that image of her being Hydra, and she… well, let’s just say she has not forgiven me.”  
“It’ll take time. It took all of us a long time to settle, and it wasn’t easy.”  
Jadzia was quiet for a moment, petting Mátia absentmindedly.  
“I’m not sure how to… to take it back,” she whispered. Bucky had to repress the urge to wrap an arm around her shoulders.  
“Not the first time she’s been hurt,” he reassured Jadzia. “Give it time. Maybe try and make her a few pancakes next morning, who knows?”  
Bucky watched her shoulders shake once in a half-hearted, silent chuckle, and wondered how long it would be before he got to actually hear that sound. ‘Give it time,’ he reminded himself._ _

__“And here you go! Your new room!”  
Bucky flung the door wide open to Jadzia’s new residence, and needless to say, the woman was in awe. She went absolutely slack-jawed as she surveyed the pale blue bedroom, with a pale oak dresser on one side, beside a walk-in wardrobe, and a white and butter-yellow striped bed facing opposite it. The bed ran adjacent to the floor-to-ceiling windows, which overlooked the massive front lawn, and had matching yellow curtains._ _

__“I told Tony to go for something light and bright for you,” Bucky said as Jadzia took everything in through Mátia’s eyes. “I picked the colours, so I’m sorry if it looks like a five year threw up in here, but-”_  
“I love it.” The whisper barely carried itself throughout the room, but Bucky caught it easily. “I love it,” Jadzia repeated, and she turned to Bucky, smiling. She was smiling. Not at Mátia, not at the room, but at him. It was like a dazzling diamond in sunlight; bright, pure, and beautiful. “Thank you.”  
Bucky couldn’t stop the grin that spread freely over his own features.  
“You’re more than welcome.”_


	7. ~ Six ~

_The Kitchen, Avengers Compound, New York ___

__The smell of cooked waffles permeated the large kitchen area, filling the noses of anyone who walked by in the dewy morning light._ _

__Wanda woke up earlier than usual that morning, her stomach roaring for something pleasant to eat, and what could be better than light, fluffy waffles drizzled with maple syrup and blueberries? Soon, the thought turned into a huge craving, and that’s how the Scarlet Witch found herself making waffles for everybody at seven in the morning. Tony was the next to get up, and immediately stole the first two cooked ones for his breakfast, much to Wanda’s complaints. Steve was next, exhausted from his morning run and thankful for the breakfast, followed by Sam. Rhodey wasn’t too far behind, the same for Natasha and Bucky. Vision didn’t eat, which only left…_ _

__“Hello, Jadzia.”  
The curt greeting from Wanda made the blind woman falter in her steps, Mátia confidently padding along up to the counter.  
“Good morning,” came the reply, which was quickly devoured by the silence that followed. The two women stood awkwardly in the kitchen, Wanda tending to the waffles, while Jadzia fidgeted with her fingers. It had been a week since the woman had her own room, and there was still tension.  
“It smells nice in here,” the Polish woman said in an attempt to make it less awkward.  
“Help yourself.” Wanda nodded over to the pile of cooked waffles. No comments were made as Jadzia prepared her breakfast, in silence once more, and Wanda never looked her way._ _

__“I’m sorry,” Jadzia whispered, catching them both off guard. “All those things… yes, I meant them then, but I don’t now. I… I’m changing. Slowly. You’re different to me now. I’m sorry.”  
Jadzia didn’t know whether what she said made sense, or whether Wanda took them to heart. Seconds ticked by like gelatinous hours. She was about to walk away when an equally quiet whisper made her stop.  
“I know. What you said hurt, but I know why you said it. And in a way, it was true. I was Hydra. I was prized. And I should have gone with Pietro.” Wanda gripped the edge of the countertop and took a deep breath. “But that much anger… I held onto it for so long because it’s what kept me alive. All that hate. And you have it too. I saw it the first time we properly met.” Wanda turned around to see Jadzia standing frozen on the spot, her unseeing gaze slightly off to the side. Her lips were parted, and there were unshod tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry, too. For being part of something that hurt you so badly. But I can help make up for it if… if you let me.”_ _

__Wanda watched Jadzia slowly make her way over to the counter, guided by Mátia, who had hopped upon it. She carefully set her plate of food down on the countertop and half-turned to Wanda. The Scarlet Witch managed a small smile and held her arms open, an invitation. Jadzia didn’t hesitate as she rushed forward into the hug, wrapping her own arms around Wanda tightly._ _

__“I don’t know,” Jadzia said through half, subdued sobs. “I don’t know how to let go. I’ve had so much anger in me for so long, I don’t know how to live without it.”  
Wanda nodded, rubbing the other woman’s back soothingly.  
“It’s ok. It’s ok… I’ll help you through it. I got through it, and so can you. I will help you, every step of the way. Although,” Wanda let a hint of a smile into her voice, “it seems like you’ve had a little bit of help already.”_ _

__She wasn’t looking at Jadzia anymore, but Bucky, who had silently entered the kitchen, and was watching them with sympathetic eyes. Mátia spotted him and meowed, making Jadzia chuckle.  
“Thank you, Wanda. And you too, Bucky. Both of you know what it’s like, and it makes me feel less alone. For that, I’ll always be thankful.”_ _

__Footsteps sounded behind Jadzia, followed by two arms - one warm and soft, the other cold and hard - covering her arms, holding Wanda’s ones. A warm mass pressed against her back, and in that moment, Jadzia had never felt so comfortable.  
“You’re never alone,” Bucky whispered behind Jadzia’s ear. “No matter the situation, neither you, or Wanda, or anyone else is truly alone. I learnt that the long way, but it doesn’t have to be as long for you. No matter what happens, we will face it. Together.” Bucky then looked up to see Wanda already staring at him, as if she were seeing the man with new eyes. There was a hard look, a set promise in Bucky’s eyes as he held that gaze. “And Hydra sure as hell isn’t getting to any of us ever again.”_ _

__Things definitely improved in the compound in the first few days after that, especially the relationship between Wanda and Jadzia. Natasha had already taken a shining to Jadzia, offering to train her, while Tony mouthed ‘good luck’ behind the assassin’s back. Sam and Rhodey wanted to bet who could flirt with the ex-captive, but one stern look from Steve had them ending the bet far sooner than they thought. Still didn’t stop them from trying every once in a while, all of their attempts being unsuccessful, of course. The one thing that didn’t change, though, was Bucky. His level of support never wavered, and whenever he wasn’t on a mission, they would always be around each other. That caused some people to start… speculating._ _

__“No.” Bucky said, crossing his arms. “Absolutely not.”  
“Ooooh, he’s hooked!” Sam crowed, despite the late hour that night. “He’s got it bad!”  
“Shhh!” Steve cut in. “You want to wake up the whole place?”  
“Sorry. But your boy’s got it bad, ey, Buckaroo?”  
“Don’t call me that,” Bucky replied. “And there’s nothing going on between me and Jadzia.”  
“Are you suuuure?” Sam kept teasing. “Because the way I see it, you can’t keep your eyes off her.”  
“And if you keep talking, I won’t be able to keep my fist off your face.” Bucky relaxed his posture slightly - just slightly. “I know what it’s like to be in her shoes, bird brain, and I’m trying to make sure she doesn’t relapse into a mood she can’t get out of. Or worse, her being alone and doing something.”_ _

__Steve looked over at his best friend, concerned. He knew exactly what Bucky was implying. How many times had he been in the same situation?  
“Bucky’s right,” he said. “As much as she is showing signs of improvement, we can’t leave her alone.”  
“Well, we won’t be around her all the time,” Sam replied. “And what if all of us need to go? What happens then?”  
“We take her with us,” Steve said.  
“Unprepared?” Bucky challenged.  
“She kicked your ass.”  
“Let it go, bird brain!”  
“Shh!” Steve gave both of them a stern look. “Natasha’s going to train her anyway. Buck, you know her best. How would she feel about her going on a mission?”  
Bucky bit his bottom lip.  
“She could go either way, but… I have a feeling she would say yes. After all, she’s got a job to finish.”  
Steve nodded.  
“Then let’s get some sleep. Tomorrow, we welcome a new member onto the team.”_ _


	8. ~ Seven ~

_Manhattan, New York, US ___

__It hadn’t taken long for Jadzia to be on the field. Within three days, she was on a van that had been dispatched from the facility, taking a long nighttime drive to the streets of Manhattan.  
“You didn’t have to come,” Steve said as he checked over his weapons and uniform once more. “We could have easily taken this one and left you to train for longer.”  
“Oh, shut up, Steven,” Jadzia retorted jokingly while petting Mátia, who was on her lap. “I’ve done my own fair share of fighting, you’re not the only one. Besides, you guys had made me a suit already.”_ _

__It’s true. The Avengers knew Jadzia was going to be a member of their team long ago, or at least help them out, so they commissioned a suit to be made for her. Looking at it now, on Jadzia, Steve couldn’t help but smile internally at their choice. Aside from a teal shirt, the slim pants and military jacket - both made of leather, the latter having two rows of buttons going down, and also made of vibranium cloth, courtesy of T’Challa - were a deep squash orange colour, fading just slightly to electric yellow at the ends of the sleeves and legs. The woman’s hair was tied up in a high ponytail, and teal fingerless gloves adorned her hands, protecting her knuckles._ _

__“It suits you,” Steve said.  
“Was that a pun?” Jadzia raised an eyebrow, not quite facing the Captain.  
“Not intended, but I’ll take the credit.”  
Jadzia smiled.  
“Really, Steven, I thought you would be more humble than that.”  
The soldier chuckled, then looked out of the tinted window. Suddenly remembering why they were out here, he became serious. Jadzia sensed the change in mood; she didn’t need Mátia’s eyes to notice everything._ _

__They had been tracking a group of arms dealers recently, ones specialising in black market alien weaponry. By “alien” they meant anything that wasn’t sold on the non-superhuman market. Their recent transactions have been tied to Hydra, but what exactly they had sold was a mystery. Despite Steve’s protests, having Jadzia come along was actually a huge advantage. It meant that they could discover what the group had sold, before taking them down._ _

__“We can’t risk infiltration,” Natasha had explained. “On both the new Hydra and the weapons dealers. These guys might be new, but they’re skeptical. It’ll take too long to gain enough trust, and by then, they will have grown again.”  
“They might retreat into different avenues that’ll be harder to track,” Jadzia had countered as they got into the van. Natasha claimed the driver’s seat.  
“Whatever’s left of them. Don’t worry, with you helping us out, we’ll get them.”_ _

__Now, looking back on it, Jadzia couldn’t help but feel as if she were no more than the team’s tracker dog. In a way, she didn’t mind it. She wanted to do whatever she could to put an end to this. Besides, she owed it to the Avengers for all they had done for her. Despite that, one thought kept bugging her, over and over again, like a fly that just won’t go away. Mátia nudged her soft head against her hand then, bringing a small smile to Jadzia’s face._ _

__“What’s wrong?”  
The Captain’s question jerked Jadzia out of her thoughts.  
“Sorry?”  
“I’ve noticed your cat does that whenever you’re upset. What’s on your mind?”  
The woman shook her head.  
“It’s nothing.”  
Steve tilted his head to the side slightly, and his tone turned soft.  
“Jadzia, if there’s one thing I know, it’s that thoughts that mean “nothing” often take up the biggest spaces in our heads. Especially if there are thousands of small “nothings” that keep coming back. Come on, you can tell me anything.”  
“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Steven. It’s just…” She sighed. “What do I do after this? After Hydra’s gone? How do I… go back? Do you know what I mean?”  
Something changed in Steve’s expression then; an emotion, flickering across his eyes faster than one could blink. It flickered again, then stayed.  
“I know exactly what you mean. During the war, during the Chitauri invasion, during… everything, I would always find myself saying ‘What next? What happens after the fight?’” Steve looked off to the side, twisting his lips as he chewed on the inside corner of one. “After getting the serum, after being the poster boy for success during the war… I sunk so deep into the role of Captain America that sometimes I forget how to go back to being Steve.” He looked at Jadzia again, the corner of his mouth tugging up slightly. “If there’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s that the fight never ends. Ever. But you can choose which battles to pick, and when you want to stop. Me, I fight. I keep fighting. Not for myself, but for everyone else. For you, you can stay, or you can let go. It’s really up to what your gut feeling says. But hey,” he leaned in, “there’s no harm in leaving. None. And I promise you, none of us would hold it against you.”_ _

__Jadzia had to force herself to keep her composure, to swallow that lump in her throat.  
“Why?” she asked.  
“Because some of us would walk away, if we could. If we didn’t have a duty to carry on, if there was no fight, if we knew a life outside of all of this,” Steve waved a hand around, “then we would. But we can’t. By some moral obligation, or choice, or some other strings attached, we can’t. But you can. And we couldn’t hold you back even if we wanted to because, frankly, this life isn’t for everybody. We’d rather keep the people living it to a minimum.”  
This time, Jadzia couldn’t keep all of her emotions in check as a single tear slipped down her cheek. She deftly wiped it away, pursing her lips.  
“You’re making me go soft, Rogers,” the woman chuckled. “But thank you. Really, it means a lot to know I have a choice.” She gently stroked Mátia’s back, making the cat purr. “Although, I had a chance to walk away a long time ago. After the explosion, I could have done that. I could have done anything. But I chose to fight back. Yes, it was all for the wrong reasons, but I stayed.” Jadzia’s expression morphed into soft determination. “I have more of a reason to stay now more than ever. You guys… you’ve given me a purpose beyond revenge. You’re helping me heal. I will never forget that, and I want to repay it in any way I can. Getting the honour to fight beside this team, this family… it is my way of saying thank you.”_ _

__Now it was Steve’s turn to be emotionally taken aback, though he didn’t show it as much. An idea formed in his head, and he smirked.  
“Well, since you’ll be here for a while, we might as well come up with a superhero name for you.” He chuckled at Jadzia’s raised eyebrow. “I mean, you don’t have to. Thor is just Thor, and you can keep using your own name, but… it might be kind of cool.”  
“Is that Captain America I hear, or the twelve year old skinny geek from Brooklyn?”  
That chuckle from before turned into a laugh.  
“A bit of both. But mostly the geek.” Steve gave her a lopsided smile, even though Mátia’s eyes were closed, which meant the woman couldn’t see. Jadzia herself had slapped on a wide smile, surprisingly not forced. She found it easier and easier every day to smile. Another reason to be thankful, and to give back.  
“Hm. I haven’t thought about a superhero name before,” she mused. “Actually, I never really thought I’d need one. But I have the uniform, so why not?” _ _

__The woman pursed her lips in thought. It can’t be something too cheesy, because nobody would take her seriously. It had to be connected to her abilities somehow. Above all, it had to sound right. Jadzia couldn’t imagine herself parading around with a name she wasn’t comfortable with. At last, her face lit up.  
“I got it. How about-”  
“Heads up,” Natasha called from the driver’s seat. “We’re here.”  
The engine ceased its rumbling as Natasha turned it off, then got out of the van. Jadzia turned to Steve with an apologetic smile.  
“Sorry. I guess you’ll just have to wait.”  
Steve pouted in a mocking manner before following Natasha’s suit._ _

__What was it with villains and their underground lairs? Thankfully, though, this wasn’t in some creepy park in France. No, this lair was hidden beneath a fairly ordinary-looking corner store on a small street, the kind kids would flock to once school was over. And this time, the trapdoor wasn’t hidden under grass and leaves, but rather behind supply crates and boxes._ _

__“You’d think,” Natasha commented as she let Steve open the trapdoor, “that after all this time, these guys would be more… creative.”  
“They are,” Jadzia smirked. “Just not in the right areas of expertise.”  
“Are you two ladies finished?” Steve asked, before disappearing through the door. Instead of stairs, this entrance had a ramp, no doubt for helping transport large crates of illegal weapons to the trucks. Natasha watched Jadzia shrug, then enter, before bringing up the rear and closing the door after them._ _

__There was no one in the first room they encountered. None in the second. No equipment either. For all intents and purposes, the place looked like it had been abandoned.  
“This is too easy,” Natasha whispered.  
“Keep looking,” Steve said. Jadzia just silently followed, allowing Mátia to scout ahead. Though the cat acted as Jadzia’s eyes, that didn’t mean the woman was completely useless or dependent. She cast her powers out, looking for another living mind, and even without her ability, her other heightened senses would have been enough.  
“Anything?” Steve asked.  
“Nothing. Yet. This place is huge.”  
“How big?”  
“Think of an ant colony. Now make it human-sized.”  
“Oh.”  
“Looks like we’re going to be in here for a while then,” Natasha drawled, taking a seat on the floor. “These guys haven’t been around here for long, from what we know. Whatever they’re selling, based on how complex this place is, they must be bringing in millions of dollars in profit.”  
“No kidding,” Steve replied, joining her on the floor. Mátia came padding back from whichever room she’d been in, rubbing herself against Natasha’s hand. All the while, Jadzia kept looking. After a minute of silence, Steve spoke up again._ _

__“Jadzia?”  
“Hm?”  
“I hope you don’t mind this, but Bucky mentioned that what they did to you, it was for Schmidt during the war.”  
“I don’t mind. And yes, that’s what they said.”  
“Could you elaborate?”  
Faint wrinkles appeared on Jadzia's forehead as she delved deep into thought.  
“Schmidt wanted to be the greatest man alive, as I’m sure you know, and one of his goals was achieving an unnaturally long life. Basically, immortality. Being the psychopath he was, Schmidt also wanted to know everything. With the theories he was proposing, the powers I have now, he could kill two birds with one stone, so to speak. By gaining a new body, he could increase his lifespan, and by going into other people’s minds, he could gain what they know. Of course, with the technology back then, none of his trials were successful. And with the introduction of the serum, well… you know the rest.”  
“How did they find the plans?”  
“Physical records. No plans are ever completely thrown out in Hydra. They are merely archived or recycled.”  
“With deadly consequences, I can imagine,” Natasha added. Both women shared a wry smile.  
“Do you think that applies to Hydra?” Steve asked quietly, trying to gauge what Jadzia thought. “That they can’t be completely destroyed, only brought back up over time?”  
Jadzia pursed her lips.  
“I hope so.” She abruptly shook her head. “There’s no one here. Whoever we’re looking for must have left”_ _

__“Another quiet run,” Natasha sighed, getting up. “Not that I’m complaining.”  
“I am,” Steve said, getting to his feet as well. “It’s back to square one.”  
“After all these years, I thought you’d be used to it be now,” Jadzia joked. She made to take a step, but her face paled and she stumbled. Luckily, Steve caught and steadied her, looping an arm around her waist.  
“Doesn’t mean I’m going to like it,” he chuckled back, before asking softly, “You alright?”  
“Yeah. Stretching my mind out takes a toll on me.”  
“It’s still pretty impressive what you managed to do. If you want, we can add mental exercises to your routine. How does that sound?”  
Jadzia nodded, thankful for the offer.  
“By the way, I thought of a name.”  
“Great. Let’s hear it.”  
“How does Psyche sound?”  
Steve went quiet for a moment, mouthing out the “sigh-kee” pronunciation, before a smile grew on his face.  
“I think it sounds perfect.”_ _

__The trio left in silence, Mátia padding along behind them, the efforts of their endeavour bearing nothing. As the trapdoor closed behind them, however, and the van sped away, a faint rustling sound echoed deep within the hideout.  
“Are they gone?”  
“They’re gone.”  
There was the sound of multiple devices powering down, a split second before multiple people seemingly appeared out of thin air. One of them, a ruggedly handsome man with brown hair and a beard, turned to address the room with his arms spread. His European accent was thick, though not too much that it made his speech indiscernible.  
“Congratulations, ladies and gentlemen. As proven tonight, your technology worked. I’ll make sure the payment gets through tomorrow, but right now, you and I have an appointment in Zermatt.”_ _


	9. ~ Eight ~

_Avengers Compound, New York ___

__By the time the team got back, it was already three hours until dawn. Tony was the only one awake, his disruptive sleep schedule flaring up again, but was busy tinkering in his workspace, so the only reason he knew of their return was through Friday._ _

__Natasha headed straight for the training room; it was hard for her to fall asleep. Steve retired to his room, though whether he went to sleep was unknown. As for Jadzia, she would have knocked out on the couch if Mátia hadn’t kept shoving against her legs, pushing her towards their bedroom.  
“Ok, ok, I get it.”  
It didn't matter that she hadn't fought that night, nobody should be awake until 3:30 in the morning. Without taking off her uniform, Jadzia fell asleep in seconds._ _

__When Jadzia woke up next, it was noon. Mátia was nowhere to be seen in the room, and the door was ajar. Knowing she was somewhere safe in the compound, Jadzia opened up the link between their minds, only to chuckle, seeing that the cat was enjoying getting belly rubs from Wanda and Vision. The smile on her face stayed as she got up to shower, using her own senses this time to get around instead of relying on Mátia. Granted, having the cat around would have prevented Jadzia from knocking over the shampoo bottle twice, but it was good practice. Oh, and almost tripping over the bunched up bath mat. Apparently shuffling your feet low over the ground while blind wasn’t a good thing. Thankfully, the edge of the sink was there to (painfully) rescue her. Ouch.  
“I’ve got to get myself together.”_ _

__Now fully awake, Jadzia brushed her teeth and donned some comfortable clothes: a loose shirt and some sweatpants. She towel-dried her hair, after searching for the damned thing for five minutes, before stepping out of her room to go get something to eat. Running her hand along the wall so as to not get lost, Jadzia managed to make it around the first corner before she bumped into someone. She swore, and felt strong hands hold her by the shoulders, steadying her.  
“Whoa, you ok?”  
Rhodey. Jadzia sighed in relief.  
“Yeah.”  
“Where’s your cat?”  
“Uh, somewhere. I’m trying to get around on my own for once.”  
“Oh, that’s… good. Where are you headed?”  
“The kitchen. I’m kinda hungry.”  
“How about I accompany you there? I could even make something for you, if you’d like.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yeah, no problem, I got nothing to do anyway.”  
Jadzia beamed and thanked Rhodey for the offer. The linked arms, and the male led her towards the kitchen, where he offered a chair for Jadzia to sit on. The sound of the stove turning on filled the air, followed by pans clanging softly together as Rhodey tried to get one out of the cupboard.  
“Is stir fry alright?” he asked.  
“It’s perfect.”  
“Great, because we had leftover rice and I honestly had no other idea what to do with it.”  
Jadzia giggled at that, making Rhodey pause.  
“You’ve changed,” the soldier said.  
“What do you mean?”  
“I mean, about a week ago, the most you would have given me was a smile, and that’s rare. Now you’re laughing, you smile more often, and you just seem more casual with us. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good.”  
“But…?”  
“No buts. Just observing.”  
Jadzia raised an eyebrow, not sure if Rhodey would see. Apparently he did, because immediately after, there was a sigh from him.  
“Ok, I want to know. What changed?”  
“Oh, just some… small talk.” Jadzia smirked.  
Rhodey chuckled and shook his head, not prying any further. The sounds of sizzling meat filled the air, filling the comfortable quiet between the two._ _

__“Where are the others?” Jadzia asked.  
“Not sure. I know Bucky and Natasha are in the training room-”  
“Jesus, does she ever sleep?”  
“Relax, she took a four-hour nap. She’s like a cat, she’ll crash again this afternoon.”  
“Oh, good. She needs her rest.”  
“Well, it’s kind of hard to sleep when you’ve got that many dark places in your head.”  
Jadzia winced, remembering her own sleepless nights in freezing cold conditions.  
“I know.”  
Rhodey glanced over his shoulder at the woman. Though Jadzia couldn’t see it, his expression softened, recognising the veil of pain that came with unwanted memories.  
“Hey, don’t stress about it too much. I’ve been there. So has Tony. So has Steve, and Bucky, and everyone else who lives here. In fact, I don’t think any of us have really moved on from that stage. We’re still there. And I guess, in a way, it’s normal for us.”  
“I guess… if you can still define anything as normal around here.”  
Another chuckle from the both of them, but this time more free, borderlining on a laugh, and mingling with the fresh sizzling of vegetable being added to the pan.  
“Aaaaand, voila.” Rhodey announced a few minutes later. “Lunch is served.”  
“That smells delicious,” Jadzia commented, hearing the man set a plate down in front of her. She felt around for the cutlery, and after blowing on her food, popped a spoonful of the fried rice into her mouth. “Mmm! Rhodey, if you don’t get a second job as a chef very soon, I’m going to sue you.”  
The man laughed, dipping his head down in appreciation.  
“Thanks, but Tony wouldn’t let me hear the end of it. He’s gonna be demanding five-star meals all the time.”  
“Tony doesn’t have to know.” Jadzia winked, and even though it wasn’t in the right direction, it still brought a smile to both of their faces._ _

__By the time Bucky had finished sparring with Natasha, Jadzia had already eaten her food and left. Rhodey was no longer in the kitchen either, so Bucky basically walked into an abandoned room. Shrugging, she grabbed the first bit of leftover food he could find - which, of course, was the remains of the fried rice - and shoveled the unheated food into his mouth. After food was a good, long, hot shower (Tony could complain about the water usage later) and straight into sweatpants and a hoodie. The soldier took every opportunity he could to wear comfortable clothing, having been running around in coarse uniform or armour for the majority of his life._ _

__He arrived into the living room to find it empty as well, except for a certain cat who was, conveniently, sitting on Bucky’s spot on the sofa.  
“Get off, furball.” Mátia meowed and didn’t budge from her seat. “I will sit on you.”  
Another meow, as if the Mátia was daring him to. Bucky sighed and plucked the cat off the sofa, much to the animal’s annoyance. Bucky told her to relax as he sat down and then, gingerly, he set the cat on his lap.  
“Please don’t scratch me, I’m trying to be nice to you for once,” Bucky half pleaded. Mátia butted her head against his hand, but settled down after that, curling up like a little dark cinnamon roll. Bucky sighed, and in a spark of curiosity, brushed his normal hand down Mátia’s back once. The cat didn’t object, so Bucky continued to pet her, and much to his surprise, Mátia began to purr.  
“Aww. I guess you’re not so bad after all, when you’re not clawing my eyes out.”  
“I’m glad you think that,” a female voice replied._ _

__Bucky’s head whipped up to see Jadzia walking up to them, her footsteps so quiet even the soldier didn’t pick up on them. She had a big grin on her face, looking as if she was on the verge of giggling. Bucky sighed in relief.  
“Are you that glad to see me?” Jadzia asked lightly, sitting down to the left of him.  
“I’m just glad it wasn’t the cat talking.”  
Jadzia laughed, the corners of her milky white eyes scrunching up, and the bridge of her nose becoming creased with wrinkles. Halfway through the laugh, though, Jadzia gasped and covered her mouth.  
“Oh my god, I look so ugly when I laugh!”  
Bucky frowned, then looked down to see Mátia staring up at the woman.  
“No you don’t, come on,” Buck countered.  
“Yes I do, I look like a seal.”  
“But seals are cute.”  
Jadzia blushed and pursed her lips, causing Bucky to realise what he said and scratch the back of his head, his own face turning crimson.  
“So,” Bucky said, attempting to steer the conversation onto a different topic. “If your cat-”  
“Mátia. She has a name, you know.”  
“Fine. If Mátia was roaming around on her own, then what were you doing?”  
“Trying to get around on my own for once, minus my sight.”  
“And how is that going?”  
“Ugh, don’t even ask. I have about two bruises and had three awkward encounters. I need practise.”  
“How did you get the bruises?”  
“Oh, these two terrible criminals called The Bathroom Sink and The Chair.”  
“Sounds serious. I guess we’ll have to lock them up, don’t you think?”  
“Definitely.”_ _

__They both chuckled, both brushing their hair out of their faces at the same time. The sun had begun its descent, and with Mátia’s help, Jadzia reached out her hand to capture the last rays of the dying orange sunlight.  
“I never get tired of this,” the woman murmured. “This little patch of time. I would sometimes sit outside in the cold and wait for dusk to come around, because it always made me feel warm, inside and out. In fact, the first day after the lab explosion, I cried because I couldn’t see the sunset. That’s when I actually met Mátia, and when she allowed me to see again, I cried because of that as well.” Jadzia smiled and shook her head. “I cried so much, I was tired of it.”  
Bucky’s expression softened and he made to reach out with his free hand, but when he saw the light glinting off the metal, he pulled it back.  
“At least you made something good out of your gift,” Bucky said, clenching his metal fist. “Nothing good comes out of what I got.”  
Jadzia moved her already outstretched hand towards Bucky.  
“May I?”  
Bucky pursed his lips, then let the woman hold his metal hand. He watched as Jadzia traced her fingers over the grooves, gently pushing against each silver finger, but he couldn’t feel it. He watched her move up to his wrist, up his forearm, stopping at the elbow. She pulled away.  
“You know,” Jadzia began, “there was a time when I thought of my ability as a curse as well. It was only when I controlled and used it on my own terms that it became a gift.” She offered him a smile. “Give it time. One day, it won’t be so bad.”_ _

__Mátia suddenly hopped off Bucky’s lap and padded away to who knows where. With a final apologetic smile, Jadzia got up to follow the cat, leaving Bucky alone on the couch. As soon as Jadzia was out of earshot, he sighed heavily and rubbed his hands over his face, then stared at his metal hand. The same hand that had taken the lives of so many people.  
'Give it time,' Jadzia’s voice floated in his head. 'One day, it won’t be so bad.' __


	10. ~ Nine ~

_Avengers Training Room, three months later ___

__“She’s improving.”  
Natasha dodged Bucky’s next punch easily, responding in kind by feigning an elbow in the face. They had been sparring for half an hour, dancing around each other in similar but opposing manners. Bucky smiled at his former pupil; god, that was such a long time ago.  
“Thanks to you training her.”  
“I didn’t even say a name,” Natasha smirked. A well placed kick got Bucky to his knees, but the soldier pulled the woman with him, throwing her off. They both rolled away from each other and quickly got to their feet, circling each other once more.  
“You didn’t have to,” Bucky replied. “Who else could you mean?”  
“Wanda, maybe?”  
“Really? She had a handle on herself long before Jadzia came here.” Bucky lunged, his metal arm coming up high while his right hand went low a split second later. Natasha wasn’t quick enough to avoid the second blow, but she did use it immediately to hoist herself up, wrap her legs around Bucky and, using her entire body strength, bring him to the ground.  
“Just thought it would be a good conversation starter,” she said casually, while one of her legs was semi-crushing Bucky’s throat. He tapped out, and she relaxed, both of them sitting up and catching their breaths.  
“In the middle of sparring? Really?” Bucky panted. Natasha shrugged. “Alright. I know you. What are you really getting at?”_ _

__Natasha didn’t respond at once to his question. She took her time to get up and walk over to their drink bottles, taking a long sip from her own.  
“I’m just saying, why not?”  
Bucky sighed. He didn’t need a full conversation to know what the redhead was getting at.  
“Because there’s nothing.”  
Natasha raised an eyebrow.  
“Really? So you two hanging around each other 24/7, and going on every mission together-”  
“It’s not every mission.”  
“-Is nothing? And don’t deny how close you two have gotten, everyone can see that. You two have helped each other in ways the rest of us couldn’t, and it’s not just shared life experiences.”_ _

__Bucky sighed. It’s true, he couldn’t deny how relaxed and free Jadzia had become around him. He also couldn’t deny the same feeling inside of himself, or how his arm wasn’t such a heavy weight on his anymore, metaphorically speaking. But…  
“We’re not ready.”  
“No one ever is, Barnes.” Natasha went back over to the soldier and knelt down beside him. “Hell, we weren’t ready back at the KGB, but we went ahead anyway. And to tell you the truth? I don’t regret anything for one minute.”  
“Even leaving?” Bucky smirked, watching the woman smirk back.  
“Alright, maybe not that. But I wasn’t right for you. Maybe… maybe she is.” She lightly punched Bucky’s right arm. “Go ahead, Barnes. Give it a try.”   
The soldier looked down at his hands, pursing his lips, not in thought, but as a tiny movement to brace himself.  
“And what if it all goes south?”  
Now it was Natasha’s turn to purse her lips.  
“Not the worst thing you’ve gone through.”  
“I’m not worried about me.”  
Natasha had no response to that for a while.  
“You’ll find a way.”_ _

__The door to the training room flung open, revealing a panting, sweaty Rhodey. He looked like he had just sprinted in from outside, which, with his prosthetics, was an achievement.  
“Am I interrupting something?” he asked, glancing between the two.  
“No,” Bucky replied while Natasha rolled her eyes.  
“Good, because I thought the weapons dealers we got tipped on were taken care of.”  
Natasha frowned in confusion.  
“Rhodey, there was nothing to take care of, they weren’t there.”  
“Then tell me who the hell is wrecking JFK airport with super high tech weapons?”  
The two assassins exchanged unsettled looks, which were quickly replaced with game faces.  
“Time to suit up.”_ _

__The whole team arrived at the airport as quickly as they could; suits, weapons, and skills at the ready. Everyone except Wanda and Vision, who were both out of the country, halfway across the world. Too far away to do anything if all went to hell. Captain America took the lead, posting everyone else at various positions. Half the airport was already in ruins, smoke rising up into the atmosphere, fire catching onto the buildings. People screamed and cried in the distance, and firetrucks were either here or on their way. Cap clenched his jaw. They weren’t fast enough.  
“Remember,” he said over comms, “we don’t know what these guys are like or what they’re capable of. Tony, you got any readings?”  
“Negative besides civilians.”  
“Jadzia?”  
“Both Mátia and I are coming up short. Whoever they were, they probably left. I’m trying to see if anyone saw the attackers’ faces. Maybe we can identify them.”  
“You work on that, I’ll see-”_ _

___BOOM! _  
A Jeep on Cap’s left exploded in a fiery inferno, and the man was sent flying away from it due to the shockwave. He crashed onto the tarmac just as three more bombs went off, cleaving the team into smaller pieces, unable to get to each other. Tony and Rhodey immediately took to the air, but the space around them was quickly peppered by bullets. The former swore and fired back.  
“Cap, we got nothing to hit!”  
“Just look for the source!” Steve shouted back, shielding himself from the bullets that were shot near the ground as well. Memories of a similar incident at another airport kept flashing into his mind, but at least this time, he was fighting with Tony, not against him.__ _ _

____Natasha and Bucky were the furthest from the blasts. They stayed behind cover, out of the main firing lines, trying to shoot back at their invisible attackers. Jadzia wasn’t so lucky. Nobody heard her scream over the deafening blast, the flames grasping at her clothes as she was thrown back over a stack of luggage crates. It was only when those crates fell on top of her, after Jadzia landed heavily on her back, that Bucky noticed what had happened to his teammate.  
“Cover me!” he yelled to Natasha, before sprinting over to Jadzia, ducking and firing when necessary. He ripped the crates off her, and as soon as he saw Jadzia, dread overtook his heart. There was a two feet long piece of twisted shrapnel impaled in Jadzia’s torso, as well as several cuts to the woman’s face._ _ _ _

____“How bad is it?” Jadzia asked, her voice strained with pain.  
“We’re gonna get you outta here.”  
“Buck, how bad?” Instead of waiting for an answer, Jadzia just touched her crimson fingertips to the side of Bucky’s head, looking through his eyes. “Dammit.”  
“We’re pinned down, we can’t get to the Quinjet.” The soldier reloaded and returned a round of fire at the attackers, then ducked back down. Up, fire, duck, up, fire. It was a familiar cycle. “You’re gonna have to hold on for me, ok?”  
“Ok. Mátia can’t get to me, she’s rushing, I can’t pin the images down or focus-”  
“Hey, hey, you’re panicking. Slow down.” Bucky looked down at her wound and swore under his breath. It was bleeding more now, and he couldn’t pull that thing out. Not knowing what else to say, he went back to what he knew best: fighting back. It was going to be ok. It had to be._ _ _ _

____“Guys!” Tony’s voice cut through the commotion as everyone’s earpiece flared up. “I got one! They’re using tech to hide themselves!”  
“Must block all the other senses and consciousness as well,” Jadzia groaned as she sat up, much to Bucky’s protests. “We couldn’t sense them.”  
“At least it’s people,” Natasha replied from afar, her face scrunched into the perfect blend of concentrated, calculated fury. “I was starting to think we’re getting our asses kicked by machines.”  
“I found more. Looks like they’re all deciding to show their faces,” Rhodey added.  
“Then let’s-”_ _ _ _

____A scream pierced the comms, and Bucky’s head snapped to see that it had come from Jadzia, anguish written all over her face. The first thing he checked was whether the woman had tried pulling out the shrapnel. She hadn’t. It was then he realised that the pain in Jadzia’s cry was not one of physical pain, but emotional one. He ducked back down, abandoning his gun so that his hands were free to cup either side of her face._ _ _ _

____“What the hell happened?” he asked. He didn’t have to be an expert to know the woman was in hysterics.  
“I’m blind, she’s gone, I can’t- I can’t see, it’s them- it’s them-”  
“Hey, again, slow down, I can’t understand a thing you’re saying.”  
“Mátia’s gone. I don’t have a grounding wire anymore, I can’t- I can’t control my mind. It’s everywhere, it’s-”  
Bucky swore again, this time louder.  
“We got a man down,” he said over comms, then turned his attention back to Jadzia. “You stay here and get it together, ok?” He made to grab his gun when Jadzia pulled him back.  
“Don’t, it’s them. It’s them, I saw, they’re gonna get me again.”  
“Who?”  
“HYDRA, GOD DAMMIT, I SAW IT! Mátia showed me just before they freaking shot her, and I heard them, and THEY’RE GOING TO DRAG ME BACK INTO THAT HELLHOLE AGAIN!”_ _ _ _

____Everyone on the team was silent. It was as if they had all chosen a moment to freeze the fight, despite the fire still incoming, and none more so than Bucky. He just stared at Jadzia’s weeping face, fear now the dominant emotion shown. Ending up back in Hydra’s hands was one of the things he dreaded the most, second only to Steve being captured by them._ _ _ _

____“Shoot me.”  
The soldier snapped back into the present.  
“No.” Bucky’s tone was firm.  
“That’s not an option, kid,” Natasha added in, still too far away to do anything. Before Bucky could react, Jadzia grabbed one of his guns and pointed it at her own head. Bucky grabbed ahold of the handle to pull it away, but Jadzia stopped him.  
“It’s always been an option, Nat.” The woman pursed her lips for a moment. “I’m sorry, Buck, but I can’t risk it. I can’t. I’m not going back there, don’t you dare make me risk it.”  
“I made it this far. You are not giving up just now.”  
“I have powers. You don’t. If they get me, their uses for me are going to be far worse than anything they made you do! Are you really going to take that chance?”  
“I’ll take any chance I’ll get.”  
“Bucky, please.”_ _ _ _

____It was a second of hesitation. A second in which the soldier was pulled back to a time in which he would have done anything to end the pain of Hydra. It was a second which cost him everything._ _ _ _

____They hit his chest, one after the other. Five bullets, all in succession. They propelled him back, away from Jadzia. The gun dropped. Her fingers scrambled for it. She grabbed it, raised it, but it wasn’t fast enough. Three men, all appearing out of thin air, grabbed her and used their devices - silver armbands which glowed with a faint blue light - to cloak her, while a fourth male kept firing at Bucky. The soldier had no choice but to roll away, and managed to fire back, only to see Jadzia disappear.  
“No! NO!”  
He’d killed the guy; there was no information to be taken from a dead body. More explosions rang out, shaking the ground, the unstable buildings nearby threatening to topple over whatever little remained standing. _ _ _ _

____Bucky didn’t know when the fighting stopped. His ears rang and there was blood coming from the corner of his mouth. Someone was shouting his name. It was muffled, he didn’t care. Someone grabbed his arm and turned him around, and Bucky felt a glimmer of relief that Steve was ok. But as the super soldier searched his face, it was gone again.  
“I lost her. Steve, they got her. Hydra’s got Jadzia again.”_ _ _ _


	11. ~ Ten ~

_Map Room, Avengers Facility, New York ___

__“Shouldn’t you be in bed, Barnes?”  
The soldier didn’t even move a muscle as Tony strode into the map room. His eyes were fixed on the many open screens in front of him, his hand clenched around the third cup of coffee in the last hour._ _

__“Not now, Stark,” the soldier grumbled.  
“It’s three in the morning, and take it from a guy who’s been down here many times at this ungodly hour, trust me, you’re gonna feel it in the morning.”  
“I know. I don’t sleep much anyways.”  
Tony made a small sound of understanding, before flicking his gaze over at the screens. He let out a low whistle, taking in as much detail as he could from all of the programmes, maps, and virtual sticky notes that Bucky had open. Tony was about to flick through them when Bucky’s voice cut him off._ _

__“Don’t.”  
“Relax, Skrillex, I’m just trying to help.”  
“Maybe later.”  
“How about-”  
“Tony. Please. Not now.”  
It’s only then that the billionaire stepped back from the screens, holding his hands up in mock surrender. He took a back seat, literally, pulling up a chair and observing from the back of the room. Tony watched Bucky analyse something, mutter to himself, write something down, then repeat the process again. There was an intensity to the soldier that Tony hadn’t seen before, a calm panic, one that could be weaponized, much to the misfortune of whoever was at the other end of it. Tony had only seen this kind of behaviour in certain circumstances, and if he was being honest, he wasn’t surprised to find Bucky like this. _ _

__“Why are you doing this, Barnes?” Tony asked.  
“Doing what?”  
“This.” The billionaire waved his hand around the room, even though Bucky couldn’t see it. “Running around all night. Figuring out a plan before anyone else even has the energy to do the same. Taking your anger out on my screens - which, by the way, is going to be costly if you decide to punch them - instead of hitting the gym like you usually do when you can’t sleep-”  
“Stalker,” Bucky cut in, though this time there was less of a bite to his tone. “Can’t keep your cameras off me, huh, Stark?”  
“Actually, it’s more like I can’t help but hear you attack the punching bag whenever I’m refilling my cup of coffee. But back to my original question, why are you doing this, hm? Why all the focus?”  
Bucky sighed and finally turned from the screen, crossing his arms in a casual manner as he faced Tony.  
“I’m trying to gather up as much intelligence as we have on the new Hydra. Who’s in it, where they’ve been, where they could be, what they’re interested in, just anything, really.”  
“Right. So you can get Jadzia back.”  
“I mean, we don’t even have Mátia anymore to provide any extra help, so I’m just trying to… I don’t know, throw darts in the dark until I hit something. And, hey, you know I would do this for any of you guys. I owe all of you my life and so much more.”  
“And what do you owe her?”  
“Excuse me?”  
Tony pushed himself off the chair and sauntered towards the soldier._ _

__“Think about it. She wasn’t here when the Avengers were almost torn apart. She wasn’t a part of the team until just recently. She hasn’t interacted with the Winter Soldier side of you, and frankly, has nothing to forgive. So what’s the real deal with her?”  
Bucky sighed, scratching his beard in false thought.  
“She’s part of the team now. Nobody gets left behind,” he finally answered.  
“And?”  
“And she kinda gets me.”  
“And?”  
“And maybe there’s a bit of trust.”  
“Aaaaaaand?”  
“Oh come on, Tony, just get to the point. What do you really want to hear from me?”  
“Admit it. She’s your Pepper, isn’t she?” Tony smirked, but Bucky didn’t return the amusement.  
“If you’re implying that she’s my personal assistant, then no.”  
“No! No, that’s not what I-” Now it was Tony’s turn to sigh and scratch his own beard, before running his hand over his face. “She’s your cornerstone, isn’t she? I wouldn’t say bedrock because that’s Steve, obviously, but…”  
Normally the soldier would have rolled his eyes, given the man a sarcastic remark about getting his head checked, then continued on with his task. Not this time. This time, Tony couldn’t help but notice the way Bucky’s jaw clenched, or the way his shoulders stiffened._ _

__“You know,” Stark began, “for a former assassin, you sir, are terrible at keeping secrets.” He glanced over at the screens, and both his tone and expression became sincere. “When are you going to tell her?”  
“Never,” Bucky replied, his gaze snapping back up again. “Jadzia’s not gonna know.”  
“Why, because you still believe you’re a monster?”  
“It’s…” Bucky chuckled, though there was no humour in it. “It’s not that simple.”  
“Please, do enlighten me, Barnes.”  
Bucky opened his mouth, then closed it, realising that none of the words in his head formed any kind of comprehendable linear structure. He absentmindedly ran his normal hand over the metallic structure of his other arm, feeling the cold steel bite into his fingertips, the lines giving him some form of sensory and mental structure. _ _

__“I’m terrified, Tony,” he confessed softly. “I like where I’m at, and I don’t want to ruin it. I’m not ready, and I know she can see me for me, and that she knows about me, but…” Bucky flexed his metal fingers. “I don’t want to throw her into the deep end of who I am just yet. There are times when I still can’t even trust myself, there’s so much I still… I can’t forget. And I can’t ask anyone to fall into that pit with me.”  
“So what I’m hearing is, you’re scared of hurting her,” Tony said.  
“That’s part of it.”  
“And the other part?”  
“I don’t want her to realise too late that I’m not worth it.”  
Tony nodded and looked over at the maps on the computer screens again, but this time it was more of a shallow glance, a moment to think. He chewed his bottom lip before speaking._ _

__“I used to be scared of letting Pepper in before. You’d think all that she’d seen of me, all that she did, even long before the relationship even began, that it’d make everything easier, but no. No, in my mind, that made everything worse. You get so close, so close, that all it takes is a stray wind and poof! They’re gone.” Stark smiled at the ground and folded his arms. “But you know what I’ve realised since then? It’s actually the opposite. If someone sticks around that close to you for so long, it’s going to take a hurricane to drive them away.”_  
Bucky nodded once.  
“Yeah, I got plenty of those in my arsenal.”  
“You mean you think you do. Don’t forget, she’s not exactly Mother Theresa. None of us are. But that doesn’t mean we haven’t improved, even by a little bit.” Tony gave Bucky’s normal arm a friendly slap before offering an encouraging smile. “Give yourself more credit, greasy. I did.” Then the billionaire left, leaving Bucky alone with the monitors once again. The soldier didn’t move at first, not for a long while. He chewed over what Tony said in his head, their entire conversation, picking it apart and looking at all the pieces before putting it back together. He came to a conclusion, one that was neither here nor there, but there was one point in all of his being that wouldn’t budge._

__“I’m coming, Jadzia. I’m gonna get you out of there. Hold on.”_ _


	12. ~ Eleven ~

_Location unknown ___

__Once, she was trapped in a room where her screams mingled with those of five other children, just a girl begging for the pain to end. Now, she was a woman, and the only screams present were her own, but the pain still remained._ _

__Jadzia only remembered waking up in a chair, the sharp edges and corners uncomfortable for her already sore body. She had bruises, no doubt about that. Jadzia willed herself to open her eyes, to reach out and see, but her eyes were already open, and there was no one to use to see through. Mátia was gone, and even if Jadzia wanted to reach out physically, she couldn’t. Her hands and ankles were bolted down, her head secured to the high back of the chair with strong fabric straps. She tried turning her head, and something brushed against her neck. Wires. Connected to her temples and the nape of her neck, right above the spine._ _

__“What the hell?” Jadzia whispered. The words rippled out and disappeared against whatever else was in the room with her, totally absorbed by it. She tried listening out for something, anything. Footsteps, breathing, even a rogue breeze. Nothing. Thinking she was alone, Jadzia jolted her body against the restraints, straining and struggling to get out of them, using all of her strength. Metal bit into her skin, but she didn’t feel the pain, just the overwhelming need to get out. She had to get out._ _

__“I wouldn’t bother if I were you,” a male voice cut through the darkness. In the next second, it was as if a switch had been flicked on, and all of a sudden, all of Jadzia’s senses flared to life. The freezing metal of the chair bit into any exposed skin, the whirr of machines and chatter of people filled her ears, she could taste and smell blood, although Jadzia wasn’t sure if it was all her own. Worst of all was the sight. It was as if her mind was split into ten different directions, flicking through the eyes of ten different people at once. Most observed computer screens in a white room, data pouring in at a rate too fast for Jadzia to register. A few pairs of eyes were directed at Jadzia’s own body, frightened and filthy, hooked up to a metallic contraption, which looked like a silver dome above her head in the middle of the room. It was all too much, too many things going on at once, and as the panic and fear hit, Jadzia watched herself scream._ _

__“Hey, hey, hey, it’s ok.” Again, that male voice, although for the life of her, Jadzia couldn’t figure out who it came from. It was gentle, soothing, but the woman had never wanted to punch someone in the face so much before. “Can you focus on me?”  
“Go away,” Jadzia whimpered despite herself.  
“I’m just trying to help. I need you to hone in on me, get inside my head only, can you do that first, please? I’m right in front of you.”  
A new pair of eyes was suddenly added to her radar, looking directly at her from just a couple of feet away, and she focused on that, drowning every other mental avenue out. Soon, it was just Jadzia, faced with her own self. She watched herself lick her own swollen and bloody lips, watched her own milky eyes dart about in minute movements. She watched her own bruised hands clench and strain against the holdings, before finally stopping, though the fists never unfurled. _ _

__“Who- Who are you?” Jadzia asked, trying to steady the stammer that had found its way into her voice. She heard the click of a tongue.  
“Sorry, this must be disorientating for you. Give me a second.”  
The view changed as whoever possessed the body turned and picked up something reflective, giving an image as to base the voice upon. Jadzia could make out a head full of brown hair, with a neat beard to match. A square face, cold blue eyes, but nothing else significant to gather from the silvery surface, although the top of his broad shoulders suggested a well-built man, as did the large hand which held the ‘mirror’. _ _

__“Do you recognise me?” Jadzia watched her mouth - no, his mouth - move with the words. The voice had a slight familiar accent to it, but for the life of her, Jadzia couldn’t put her finger on where she had heard it. “Probably not, it has been quite a few years after all. That, and I had a few silver hairs then, but thankfully, hair dye takes care of that.”  
“Who. Are. You?” Jadzia ground out through her teeth.  
“Call me Joseph. Some know me as the head of the New Hydra, but you may know me as your supervisor. Sort of. I visited when you were in the middle of your trials in Zermatt, although, looking back on it, you were probably in too much pain to register it.”_ _

__The second half of that last sentence blurred by Jadzia’s ears, every syllable turned into muffled nonsense. She was drowning, memories filling up her lungs, tightening her chest; she couldn’t breathe. Her restraints suddenly felt far too familiar, The whiteness of the room was far too glaring, and the monitors… they all closed in on her. Every one of them. She couldn’t breathe. For a moment the present didn’t exist. For a moment, Jadzia was back on a surgical bed in a lab, hidden in a mountain in Switzerland. The woman was shivering, but not from the cold. She didn’t even notice when Joseph turned away from the reflective surface to face her again._ _

__“I’m really glad I gave the order to continue the experiments. Better than that, I’m glad you survived, because you possess a gift that is invaluable to us. All it needs is a little adjusting, and after that, it will be perfect.”  
Joseph walked over to the side of the machine, where a mini control panel was installed. The movement dragged Jadzia out of her memories.  
“Stop,” she managed to whisper. “Please stop.”  
“I’m sorry, darling, but we need you. If it makes you feel better, once we replicate your gift, you are free to go wherever you wish.”  
Jadzia began frantically shaking her head, whispering “no” over and over again. She sobbed as the fear of reliving her past overcame her.  
“Please-”  
“Like I said, I am sorry. This is going to hurt.” Joseph initiated the startup sequence, and the machine whirred to life, though the noise did little to drown out Jadzia’s protests. “This place was rebuilt and reborn, just like you. Welcome back to Zermatt.”_ _

__Joseph pushed the final button, the machine pulsed, and Jadzia screamed as she was shattered into a million pieces once again._ _


	13. ~ Twelve ~

_Zermatt, Switzerland_

_3 days later ___

__There was no hesitation once they had found her location._ _

__One member of the team was checking their weapons. One member flew the jet. The last one had their jaw and shoulders tensed more than they needed to be, gaze sharpened to a dull point; focused, yet far off._ _

__Not all of the Avengers were able to go. Another mission that affected a wider area needed attention as well, as well as a lot of aerial aid, prompting Tony, Sam, and Rhodey to stay. Bruce was needed there as well, with Clint being the pilot for the long-distance ride. Thor was off-world, which left only three people to bring Jadzia back: Natasha, Steve, and Bucky._ _

__“You need to relax a little, boys,” Natasha called out from the cockpit. “No point using all your energy to look dark and brooding.”  
“I am relaxed,” Steve replied. “It’s Bucky you should be talking to.”  
The brunet immediately looked up at his best friend.  
“I’m fine,” he said evenly. “Just mentally preparing myself._ _

__Steve sighed. He knew his friend’s feelings for Jadzia, no matter how complicated they were. He also knew that Bucky would never let anyone endure the pain of being held captive by Hydra, old or new. Not if he could help it. If Bucky couldn’t erase all that he had done over the past century or so, then he’d be damn sure to help stop or minimise the effects Hydra has or had on anyone else. He deserved to move on, and he wanted to, but no matter what, Bucky would never live his life knowing someone else was hurting because of the same reason._ _

__“Buck, it’s going to be alright,” Steve assured him. “For all of us, including her.”  
“You can’t promise me that,” Bucky replied, but forced himself to loosen up nonetheless. “You don’t know them like I do.”  
It took all of Steve’s strength not to wince at the thought.  
“I know. But I also know that nothing’s going to change if you keep up a down attitude. Might as well hope for the best.”  
Bucky nodded.  
“Right.”_ _

__Landing was easy. Taking down anybody who got in their way at the entrance was easy. Unfortunately, trying to avoid tripping the alarm was not easy. Once the entire lab was warned of intruders, armed soldiers poured in from every possible side, surrounding the trio, separating them. Natasha was backed into one wing of the lab, fighting back against soldiers from all sides, no doubt capable of disabling them all eventually. Steve’s shield was in his hands one minute, then on the floor the next minute, reducing the Captain his fists. Bucky faced off opponents of his own, and though he managed to avoid any serious hits, they kept pushing him further and further inside the lab._ _

__“Steve!”  
“Just go, Buck!" came the reply in his earpiece. "We’ll be right behind you!”  
“But-”  
“GO!” Natasha shouted, right as she planted her heel into the sternum of one guard, before tazing another. Bucky, just having disabled two guards at once, swore into the earpiece and ran further into the lab, making the last guard follow him. They ran right through rooms of evacuating people, jumped over consoles, slid under desks, Bucky firing back every time the guard fired forward. It was only a matter of time before they reached a dead end or ran out of ammunition; in this case, both turned out to be true. Entering a final, large chamber, Bucky stopped and whirled around, just to get tackled to the ground by the guard. He hit the guard with the point of his elbow once, twice, then got a punch to the side of the gut in retaliation. Using all of his strength, Bucky rolled over so that the muscular figure was underneath him and, straddling his waist, he began throwing punches to the guards face with his metal fist. One good, accurate hit to the nose sent the bone to the guard's brain, and he instantly died. Panting, Bucky hauled himself to his feet and looked around, scanning his surroundings, his trained eyes taking in every single detail. Whoever was in here left in a hurry, the monitors were still running. Maybe he could hack into their files and see where they were keeping-_ _

__"Jadzia."  
Bucky whispered out her name in relief as he spotted her strapped to a dome-like machine of sorts. Forgetting the monitors, he immediately ran over to the woman, stopping close enough to hear her weak whimpers. Bucky grimaced at the sight of her malnourished form; the pale skin, puffy red eyes with dark bags underneath, and limbs that were almost reduced to skin and bone. Jadzia opened her mouth, but all that came out was a faint wheeze, meaning she had lost her voice a long time ago. It was like months of pain and starvation had all been condensed into a couple of days, and as a result, Jadzia looked even worse than how the team had found her. As Bucky got closer, the woman flinched away, whimpering and trembling like a leaf._ _

__"Hey," he said as gently as he could, crouching down even though Jadzia couldn't see. "Hey, it's ok. It's me, Bucky. You remember me?"  
Jadzia's distant eyes widened, and her severely chapped lips began opening and closing repeatedly, trying to form a word.  
Buh… Buck… Bucky…  
The soldier smiled.  
"Yeah. Yeah, it's me, Bucky. It's me. I'm here, it's ok, I got you."  
Jadzia let out a harsh sob of relief, or as harsh as her damaged vocal cords would allow, and it tore Bucky's heart in two.  
"I'm gonna get you out of here, ok? But first I need to stop this machine. It's ok, you don't have to do anything, but I'll be right back, ok?"  
Jadzia managed to nod once, which was all the confirmation Bucky needed. He searched the domed machine until he found the control panel which, unfortunately for him, had some kind of override which prevented the contraption from stopping. Once it started, that was it._ _

__“Oh, screw this.”  
Bucky punched the control panel, then proceeded to rip out wires left right and centre, hoping something would make it shut down. Something must have gone right, because soon the whirring disappeared, replaced by a thick blanket of quietness wrapping around Jadzia’s raspy breathing. Bucky quickly detached Jadzia from the restraints, as well as the wires which were, thankfully, only stuck onto the skin using gel pads that read the electrical signals in the body. He picked Jadzia up as carefully as he could, cradling her against his body, her head resting against Bucky’s left shoulder. Jadzia should have tensed up as soon as she felt the hard metal once more, even under the clothing. She should have felt fearful of the element. Instead, for the first time since the fight at the airport, Jadzia felt safe, like she could make it.  
“Bucky…”  
“Let’s get you out of here,” the soldier said, but just as soon as Barnes took his first step, he was stopped by the sound of someone clapping slowly. _ _

__“Aw, such a touching moment,” a male voice called out from behind Bucky, prompting the soldier to turn around. As if by magic, Joseph appeared on the other side of a room, sporting a bemused smirk on his face. Bucky hadn’t seen him enter the room, neither did he hear him, so it came as a shock to the soldier. He quickly adjusted though, immediately getting protective of Jadzia.  
“Surprised?” Joseph asked, spreading his arms wide open as he took a step forward.  
“No,” Bucky replied coldly. “Not when it comes to who you are, anyway. Joseph Schmidt, descendant of the Red Skull, Johann Schmidt.”  
“Very good.” The male dropped his hands. “Not a direct descendant, though. There have been a few twists and turns in the line, but yes, the general label is there. Even if I wasn’t related, Hydra’s ideologies were too pure to pass up.”  
“How did you get in here?” Bucky growled through clenched teeth. “You weren’t in this room before, I would have known it.”  
“Oh, I was always here. Just as my team and I were always there in Manhattan.” Joseph rolled up the sleeves of his charcoal jacket to reveal wide silver bands on each of his wrists. “Beautiful, aren’t they? Luckily for us, they are more than just pretty pieces of jewelry. They can mask a person’s presence, hiding everything from their appearance to their scent, and even their mind. The ultimate invisibility cloak.” _ _

__At this point, running footsteps sounded behind Bucky, and he turned to see Natasha and Steve sprinting towards the lab room.  
“Buck!-”  
There was the sound of Joseph snapping his fingers, and an automated door immediately slid shut between the main lab and the room Steve and Nat were in, cutting Bucky off from his friends at the last second. He could hear Steve shouting and banging the thick metal from the other side.  
“Shit,” the soldier whispered as he faced Joseph again, only he wasn’t there anymore. “Shit.”_ _

__Something unseen collided with Bucky’s face - a fist - and sent him stumbling back. Jadzia whimpered in his arms, clutching the front of Bucky’s armour for stability. Barnes realised there was no way he could stand on his feet against an opponent he couldn’t see or hear, especially not with Jadzia, so he kneeled down and curled his body over hers. With every blow that came afterward, he absorbed them, stopping them from reaching Jadzia while also trying to come up with a way to fight an enemy he could not see or hear. Suddenly, an idea occurred to him, just as he felt the unmistakable impression of a foot connecting violently with his shoulder. His non-metal shoulder._ _

__Bucky yelled out in pain, nearly collapsing onto the floor. He placed Jadzia onto the floor and gently pried her fingers off the armour, ignoring her quiet protests.  
“It’s ok, it’s ok. I’m gonna be ok.”  
The next time Bucky was kicked, he was ready for it. Quick as a flash, he grabbed Joseph's ankle and pulled it to the side, making the man fall - oddly, without a sound. Bucky then quickly moved away from Jadzia, still holding Joseph's ankle, and slammed his fist down on where he had hoped Joseph's groin area was. Judging by the way the leg jerked back, Bucky reckoned he had hit his mark. Something hit the side of his head and he instinctively grabbed that. Fighting through the dizziness from the blow, the soldier recognised it as Joseph's wrist, and he could feel the band on it. Pinning the man down with his legs, Bucky used his metal hand to rip it off his wrist, an action which instantly revealed a furious Joseph lying on his back on the ground. Joseph got one leg free and delivered a kick which sent Bucky reeling back. There was pain everywhere, and his head became tighter and heavier by the second, but thanks to decades of training he still managed to think clearly. Bucky knew he had to get the fight away from Jadzia, in case she got hurt. Oh, and he had to survive as well._ _

__As soon as that last thought formed in his head, Bucky was met with the sight of Joseph glowering over him, a fist already raised to drive into Bucky's face. The soldier crossed his arms in front of his face, and not a moment too soon, as Joseph's knuckles bruised against them, making the man grunt in pain. Bucky used the momentary distraction to wrap an arm around Joseph's wrist and twist it, at the same time Bucky twisted his own body and used the momentum to pin down Joseph to the ground. Bucky planted one knee onto his chest, the other on his left arm, while holding Joseph's right arm with his metal hand.  
"My turn," he growled.  
Bucky rained his blows down upon the man, one after the other, skin meeting skin then eventually meeting blood as Joseph's nose was broken, and his lip busted open. Bucky raised his fist one more time… then stopped. Joseph was done. His face was swollen, badly beaten, and another hit might make him lose consciousness by the looks of it. Or worse, kill him. Barnes didn't want that; the less bloodshed the better. Besides, Joseph could have information that would help the team, and no way was he wasting that. He let go of Joseph and stood up, towering over his limp but awake form.  
"Stay down," Bucky ordered._ _

__The soldier turned from his enemy and started walking towards Jadzia, who was still lying on the floor, watching everything through the men's eyes. He was about a few steps from the woman when two things happened at once: the sound of a gun going off, and an intense sharp pain in Bucky's lower back. The soldier grunted, staggered, then fell to his knees, one hand at the wound trying to stop the flow of blood. Barnes took a ragged breath, trying to push past the pain, but it was excruciating. His gaze locked with Jadzia's, some small strand of power left in her to be able to use Bucky's eyes, and there was a new kind of fear on her face, not for herself, but for him._ _

__"Look at you," Joseph rasped through the blood as he got to his feet. "Hydra's mighty assassin. You've gone soft. No no no, don't bother getting up." Joseph used whatever strength he had to reach Bucky, and strike the side of his head with the butt of the gun he had taken from Bucky's thigh holster. He'd been so damn wrapped up in his anger that he didn't even notice his gun being taken. Dammit. Bucky couldn't see clearly; fog lined his vision, tinged with red. Blood trickled from his temple. Sounds faded in and out for a few seconds, finally coming into focus at Joseph's voice._ _

__"...made you something great, Barnes! We could have used you for many more years to come. But it doesn't matter now. I know you don't comply anymore. So instead, let me show you what happens when you defy Hydra for the last time."_  
"No," Bucky gasped as Joseph took a step towards Jadzia. "No, no, leave her alone…"  
Joseph ignored the man, instead levelling his gun at the woman's head, taking aim. Jadzia didn't even have the strength to crawl away, she was that malnourished, exhausted beyond comprehension.  
"I don't need you." Joseph's swollen voice seemed to fill the room, despite the relative quietness of it. "Not anymore. You've given me all that I need, in ways both expected and unexpected. I know you have more to give, but really, this is far more fun. Thank you, dear, for your service to our cause."_

__Another gunshot. Another bullet. But the target was never hit._ _

__Joseph's face of triumph turned into shock when a metal hand blocked the path of the bullet. He turned his head to see Bucky somehow on his teeth, gritting his teeth through the mild concussion and his own wounds. There was a fire burning behind those eyes, a fire that heated the words that punched their way out of Bucky's mouth._ _

__"You don't get to hurt her ever again."_ _

__Joseph recovered from his shock fast enough to aim the gun at Bucky, but the soldier pushed his arm up, and the weapon discharged at the ceiling instead. Both men grappled for control of the gun, and even when Bucky kicked Joseph’s legs out from under him, taking them both down, the power struggle didn’t change. The barrel of the gun struggled in the middle line, pushed towards one side or the other, one face or the other. One potential bleeding skull or another. A willing monster fought against an unwilling monster, but only one had the upper hand. And as the final gunshot of the night rang out, Jadzia let out a dry sob in the following heavy silence._ _


	14. ~ Thirteen ~

Bucky rolled off of Joseph’s bloody corpse, panting in a mixture of pain and exhaustion. It took all of his willpower not to just close his eyes and rest right then and there, because he knew it would be fatal. Instead, he forced himself to sit up, and as he did so, his gaze flicked to Joseph. An ugly gaping hole replaced the man's forehead, completing the already bruised and swollen face. Bucky swore; he told himself to keep Joseph alive. The rational part of his brain told him that there was nothing else he could do at the time. Joseph would have found a way to end it his way. Groaning, Bucky moved himself so that he was kneeling in front of Jadzia.

"You still trust me to get you out of here?" he asked. Jadzia gave the barest of nods, but it was without hesitation. Taking that as a good thing, Bucky picked her up once more, and carried her over to the door between them and the way out, his steps uneven and staggering. Though the concussion still had an effect on him, Bucky managed to open the door from his side, and was greeted by the sight of Steve pacing anxiously back and forth, while Natasha sat on a piece of furniture with her hands clasped in front of her, as if she were praying. As soon as the door opened, both of them whipped their heads around to face Bucky, relief and worry clashing behind their eyes, especially as they beheld Jadzia.

"Is she-" Steve began.  
"Don't worry, she's alive," Bucky assured him. "But I think we both need a hospital."  
Steve offered to carry Jadzia, who was in the process of falling asleep, while Natasha supported Bucky as they exited.  
"Joseph?" she asked.  
"Dead," Bucky stated. "I had to kill him."  
Natasha raised an eyebrow.   
"Did you really have to?"  
"He had a gun on us. Was stronger than he looked, believe me. He would've killed both of us if I hadn't stopped him. Besides, you know I’m not that person anymore.”  
“You never were.” She flashed a small smile in his direction. "But I'm just making sure."  
Bucky didn't smile back, only nodded once.

"I need you to do me a favour," he asked suddenly.  
"What is it?" Natasha replied.  
"I need you to come back in here later and collect any bit of information you can on the rest of the network. And if you find anything on the experiments-"  
"Bag those as well. Got it."  
"No. I need you to destroy it."  
Natasha's look became sombre.  
"Barnes, I think you've had one too many hits on the head."  
"I know exactly what I'm talking about. Trust me. They caught Jadzia using surviving records, we can't let that happen again. Whatever they found, the information isn't safe in anyone's hands."  
"Ok, less talking. You've clearly got a concussion-"  
"Promise me, Natasha," the soldier pressed, his tone enough to make the woman pause and purse her lips.  
"I'll see what needs to be done," Romanoff finally conceded. Bucky knew it was the best answer he was going to get, so he didn’t push any further. 

Steve did his best to patch Bucky up in the jet, but even with the gauze and reduced bleeding, by the time they reached the nearest hospital, the soldier was almost fading out of consciousness. Almost. Despite the blood loss, Bucky was tougher than that; perks of being a super soldier with enhanced capabilities.

When Bucky woke up, the first thing he noticed was the sunlight. It streamed in at an angle through the large windows of the ward, letting him know that it was already late the next morning. He brought up his right hand to rub his eyes with, the IV tube following it like an overly attached puppy. There was an ache in his back, and the smell of the rustling hospital sheets was all too familiar.  
“Damn,” Bucky said to himself. “How long have I been out?”

“Long enough to get a good night’s sleep,” a familiar voice replied from nearby. Bucky turned his head to face them, a smile already on his face as he beheld the sight of Steve sitting on one of the hospital chairs. He was already in civilian clothing, and apparently the nurses had deemed his injuries to be minor, seeing as he was already walking around. Either that, or Steve avoided getting checked up on. Again.  
“How you feeling, Buck?”  
“Been better. You?”  
Steve shrugged.  
“I’ll manage. Sore spots, nothing new.”  
“Right.” Bucky chuckled. “How’s Nat and Jadzia?”  
“Oh, Nat’s fine. Already informed the others of what happened. They put Jadzia in another room, but she’s doing good, recovering well.”   
“That’s good.”  
“Yeah, your girlfriend’s fine.”  
“You son of a-”  
“Alright, alright,” Steve said, putting his hands up in mock defence. “Just saying. We can go visit her later, if you want. I can push you around in a little wheelchair, maybe braid your hair while you two talk."  
"I'll run over your damn feet, punk."  
The two men laughed, with Bucky wincing a second later.  
“After food first,” Bucky said. “I’m starving.”  
“Sure. I’ll see if I can get you boiled potatoes and kale.”  
“Oh, I hate you.”

Though her breaths were still wheezy and her limbs weak, Jadzia could feel the difference a good night’s rest and food could make. That, and the bucketloads of medication that were being pumped into her body. Natasha left her room early in the morning to let Jadzia take a nap, and when the woman awoke, Nat was still gone. Jadzia had the steady beeping of the machines and the occasional nurse to keep her company, which was nice, it saved her from using too much energy interacting with others. She would, however, gladly make an exception for the friend that now entered through the doorway. Hearing those familiar footsteps lightened her mood quite a bit.

“Bucky,” she smiled.  
“Hey,” the male smiled back. “You can talk now. That’s good. How are you feeling?”  
“Tired… but alive. Thanks to you.”  
“Right.” Bucky looked down and pursed his lips, before tilting his head back up. “Look, about what you saw back there-”  
“Save it,” Jadzia cut him off softly. It took effort to extend her hand out to Bucky, but when her fingers met ones of metal, the small blossom of warmth and safety within her was worth it. “I think you keep forgetting that I’m a killer too… and not just out of necessity. You had no choice in what you did… what you used to do… and I know you now choose for the better. There is nothing you could show me now, or ever, that I have not witnessed… or done myself. So yes… I still trust you. I always will. Because you have earned it many times over.”  
Bucky would never admit that he had a lump in his throat, which was in the process of being swallowed down or at least kept in control, but the slight squeeze he gave Jadzia’s hand told her enough. 

"Where's Nat?" Bucky asked in an attempt to change the subject. "I thought she'd be keeping you company."  
"She was. For a while. It was… more of a debriefing." Jadzia chuckled softly, before her expression became serious. "I told her that the place they kept me in… was the same lab they held me in during the initial tests. The rebuilt it somehow. They built it specifically for me."  
"Steve told us about Red Skull's plan for immortality," Bucky said as he absentmindedly rubbed a thumb over the back of Jadzia's hand. "Looked like they were trying to extract your power for that."  
"Replicate, not extract. And no… plans changed. Joseph argued that Red Skull's original plan was too small. Selfish. Why lengthen the life of one man… when you have the power to see through the eyes of every single person on the planet… and eventually control their minds."  
"Jesus…" Bucky scratched his beard with his free hand. "Do you know if he succeeded?"  
"He almost did. Modifications were being made. The next step was to test it out… put it in serum form so that human trials could begin.”  
“Why is it always a serum?” Bucky chuckled to try and lighten the mood, and thankfully Jadzia joined him.  
“Lack of imagination, maybe?” She paused. “I count myself lucky… you guys came in at the right time.”  
“I feel like we didn’t come soon enough.”  
Jadzia tried to shrug, but her shoulders were too heavy. So were her eyelids as she closed them.  
“It’s just another wound,” the woman whispered. "It'll heal."  
"With good food. And lots of sleep, something which you clearly need."  
"Noooo…"  
Bucky chuckled and gently laid Jadzia's hand on the bed, reluctant to let go of it.  
"Get some rest. I'll see you later."

Bucky hadn't even fully wheeled himself out of the room, when Jadzia's soft snores joined the chirps of the machines. The soldier found himself smiling as he exited the room, until he came face to face with Steve leaning against the wall, eyebrows raised.  
"Shut it, Rogers."  
"I didn't say anything!" Steve held up his previously crossed arms.  
"I know. You were thinking it."  
"I'm actually thinking you could use some sleep as well. You're talking nonsense." Steve promptly got behind Bucky and pushed the wheelchair towards his room.  
"Hey, Steve?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I mean it. Don't say anything to her."  
"Wouldn't dream of it, Buck. That's your choice to make, not mine."


	15. ~ Fourteen ~

_Avengers compound, New York ___

__It was Natasha who first acquired the information, somehow. No one asked any questions about it because, well, it’s Natasha. She soon had the whole team in on her little secret, all but one, who was sound asleep in bed._ _

__It was early June, two months after the incident at Zermatt. The new Hydra was all but gone by now, although Steve remained vigilant about the matter. Tony chalked it up to him worrying it’ll grow right under his nose again, but the billionaire reassured him that this time, it’ll take a miracle for them to grow back. Steve reminded him that their world was nothing short of miracles. The process leading up to that point was nothing short of hectic; search, find, destroy, barely give your body time to heal, repeat. This meant there was very little time for any real social events or interactions._ _

__But this day was an exception, because now, there was an occasion that the team simply could not afford to miss. Hushing each other and creeping around just an hour after dawn, all of the original and new Avengers managed to contain their excited giggles as they approached one very specific door. Tony stood at the front of the line, hardly able to wipe the smile off his face.  
“Ready?”  
The response was a collective nodding of heads and glinting eyes.  
“Alright, here we go. Three… two… one…”  
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”_ _

__Jadzia shot upright at the chorus of voices barging through the door. Something bounded onto her bed, knocking her back with a hug, and it took her a while to realise it was Wanda.  
“Guys!” Jadzia laughed. “How did you know?!”  
“Oh, that little part doesn’t matter,” Natasha said, a smirk evident in her tone.  
“What does matter,” Thor added, “is that we celebrate the anniversary of your birth all together!”  
“Aw, you guys…” Jadzia could feel tears spring to the corners of her eyes, prompting her to wipe them away while she sat back up. “This is- wow, um. I really don’t know what to say, thank you. It’s been so long since I last did anything like this…”  
Her already warm smile grew as a familiar hand was placed on her shoulder. This was followed by an equally familiar voice to accompany that, as Jadzia place her own hand over the top of it.  
“Well, you’re family now,” Bucky said softly. “And we thought celebrating your birthday would be a nice change to all the ongoing missions we’ve been on.”  
“How convenient,” the woman replied dryly, but she chuckled anyway.  
“I know you still have trouble grounding your vision,” Bucky continued, “so how about you see through my eyes for the whole thing, instead of jumping from one person to another while you open up your presents?”  
Jadzia gasped.  
“You guys brought me presents?!”  
“Honestly, woman!” Wanda rolled her eyes, and placed something cub-like in Jadzia’s lap.”Mine first.”_ _

__Giggling and looking through Bucky’s eyes, Jadzia watched herself carefully unpeel the wrapper from the box, before Sam got annoyed and told her to just rip it off. She did, and when she opened the decorated packaging, she gasped at what was inside; a silver watch with diamonds studded along the delicate band. Wanda said she thought that despite not being able to see it for most of the time, it would suit Jadzia, which turned out to be true. Tony couldn’t help boasting about his gift next, although a six foot teddy bear was a bit of a hassle to get through the doorway. Steve shyly presented a baseball cap and some chocolates, admitting he didn't know what to get as he scratched the back of his neck. Jadzia assured him that is was the thought that counted, and plonked the cap over her bed hair. Natasha, in the meantime, presented her perfectly and accurately sized hoodie, sweater, jeans, pyjamas, shirts, and killer black boots, and this time, no one dared to ask how she knew Jadzia's sizes. The best they'd get was a vague sassy answer anyway._ _

__The teardrops really started to pour when Thor gave Jadzia an Asgardian silk gown, pale gold in colour and shimmering like sunlight off of water, with white elegant cape flowing from the shoulders. Thor, that big old friendly thunder giant, couldn’t resist giving her a hug as well, calming Jadzia enough to let the tears slow down again. Bruce was next with the gift of calm days ahead; scented candles, an infinity cube, and a worry stone necklace that she could wear even under her armour during missions._ _

__“Seems a bit ironic there,” Tony remarked.  
“Hulk’s fine, thanks for asking,” the scientist shot back, though there was no tension in his tone, which was good.  
Sam and Rhodey ended up arguing for five minutes about whose gift was better, Rhodey’s practical and discreet utility belt - complete with a mini taser, drug dart gun, tracker gun, grappling hook, and a copy of Nat’s extendable baton - or complete control of Bluejay, the smaller and more versatile version of Sam’s Redwing drone. Obviously Jadzia refused to give an answer,not being able to decide on one, so the boys took their bickering to the side before Natasha pulled on their ears (figuratively, of course). That gave enough time for Barton to dump his present on the bed._ _

__"Um, Clint? What's that?" Jadzia asked.  
"What? You don't like my little wood carving?" The archer replied, pouting.  
"Oh, you made it? That's cool!... What's it supposed to be?"  
"A… a bear. Is it that bad?"  
"No, no! It just took me a while to recognise-"  
"It's terrible. Guuuyyys! Why didn't you say anything?"  
"Oh, we were going to," Tony said.  
"But Laura made us swear not to, on account of you being proud of it," Natasha added with a smirk.  
"Seriously? She could have stopped me any ti-"  
"Barton," Jadzia cut in. "I love it. Really. Thank you."  
"Yeah, well, at least it's better than what Vision came up with," Clint grumbled.  
"In my defence, I only found out it was her birthday yesterday," Vision said from the back."So I offered to bake you your birthday cake."  
"After three test trials," Wanda added with a giggle. "All of them were horrible."  
"I tried. Hopefully this one isn't so terrible."  
"I'm sure it won't be," Jadzia replied with a smile. She was wondering what the plethora of smoke and curses coming from the kitchen late last night was, anyway. Now she knows.  
Tony's rude throat-clearing a second later earned him a frown from everyone, especially Steve.  
"Well this has been fun and all," the billionaire began, "but we all know my present is the best. Also, is it just me, or did anyone else suddenly remember the huge breakfast buffet Pepper and I have waiting outside?"  
"You did not!" Jadzia exclaimed, holding her hands to her mouth.  
"Oh, yes we did! Now hurry up, before the food gets cold, and you'll have to heat it up all by yourself."  
"Ok, ok, just let me get changed, brush my teeth… and I can't do it with all of you looking at me, go, get out of here! Have breakfast, but if there are any pancakes, save them for me, they're mine."  
"Whatever the birthday lady wants," Natasha said, before ruffling Jadzia's hair and walking out with everyone else, a trail of laughter following in their wake. Well, almost everyone else. Jadzia reached out for Bucky’s hand, which had left her shoulder a while ago, and upon holding it again, she gave it a gentle squeeze.  
“You go on ahead, have fun,” she said. “I’ll be there in a minute.”  
“Alright.”  
Jadzia could sense his hesitation even as she pulled her hand, and her mind, away from him.  
“You alright?” she asked.  
“Hm?” Bucky’s voice seemed far off, distracted. “Yeah, yeah, just thinking about… something. I’ll see you at the table.”  
“Alright.”_ _

__Jadzia allowed Bucky to leave before getting out of bed herself. Weeks of training herself to navigate without sight, or any assistance, helped her find the jacket she’d thrown on the ground the previous night. She was just about to go brush when a pair of hushed voices reached her ears from just beyond the doorway. Specifically, voices belonging to the soldier whom she thought had already gone his way, and Sam._ _

__“Ask her.”  
“No”  
“Dude, just ask her.”  
“No! Not yet.”  
“Why not? Scared?”  
“No!”  
“Then just ask her.”  
“Why don’t you?”  
“Dude, this was your idea!”  
“Yeah, but-”  
“Boys,” Jadzia called out, trying to hide her amusement. “Do you mind telling me what’s going on?”  
There was the soft scuffing of footsteps as the two men re-entered her bedroom.  
“Bucky wants to ask you something,” Sam announced before anyone else had the chance to get a word in. Bucky stared at him wide-eyed.  
“Hey!”  
Jadzia couldn’t help but laugh as Sam quickly made his exit, only calming down enough to hear Bucky take a few shy steps towards her._ _

__“What’s wrong?” Jadzia asked as she felt Bucky’s presence in front of her.  
“Well…” Jadzia could imagine the man scratching the back of his head. “I, uh, bet you noticed that I didn’t put down a present for you.”  
“Honestly, I don’t mind, Buck. You just being here was more than enough for me.”  
“Aw, thanks. But seriously, I felt bad for that, and I wanted to tell you that I actually had a gift- well, not really, not on me at that moment, but… um… you know, I was taking a walk the other day, I felt like just getting out of this place for a while, and I just happened to find this cute little pet store along the way. They had a few dogs, couple of fish. There was this one cat that was way too old to keep, but I thought one of the kittens looked cute, though, so…”_ _

__Jadzia could only register two things; the first was her jaw slackening. The second was the word “kittens” bouncing around in her head like a rubber ball, hitting every side and edge until it hit the corner like a DVD screensaver.  
“Bucky, you’re not actually saying what I think you’re saying, are you?” the woman asked, hope swelling in her chest.  
“Depends on what you think I’m saying,” Bucky chuckled back. “But yeah, I mean, I know a kitten would take more time to grow, get trained, but I figured since you lost Mátia, and you miss her, and you could use another pair of eyes… or-or not, I mean, you're not helpless-"  
Jadzia threw her arms around Bucky faster than he could sneeze.  
"Bucky! Oh my god, you absolute angel!"  
The male's laugh rang through the room, lifting the woman's spirits higher as she felt a pair of arms embrace her; one cooler than the ocean, the other warm to the touch, and both sent a wave of comfort through her.  
"I wouldn't call myself an angel," Bucky chuckled. "But I'll take the compliment. I'll also take that answer as a yes. We could head down to the store after lunch if you want."  
Jadzia let out a giggle, feeling slightly giddy.  
"Yeah. Yeah, sounds great, I… aw, Buck. I don't know what to say."  
"Well, can you figure it out after I show you the present I actually got for you?"  
"Wait, what?"  
Bucky chuckled once more.  
"You really thought I would hinge everything on you possibly saying no? I got something else." Bucky stepped back from Jadzia, one hand holding hers while the other rummaged in his pocket for something. "Mind stepping into my head again?"_ _

__As soon as Jadzia connected her consciousness to Bucky's, and saw through his eyes, she gasped. Using his front phone camera as a mirror, Bucky showed his own face on the screen, sporting a shy smile. He let go of Jadzia's hand to run his own through his hair, but instead of thick dark brown locks brushing away from his face, his fingers went through short strands, tidy even after a full night of sleep. Somehow it made him look years younger, especially with the beard shaved off along with the cut. Bucky even looked more free, somehow. More human, less like someone who had been bred for part of his life for war. Jadzia had never seen such a fast transformation before._ _

__"I got it cut yesterday," Bucky explained, his crystalline eyes flicking up to see Jadzia cover her mouth. "I had to hide myself for the better part of the night. Thank god you didn't use your sight, otherwise that would have ruined the surprise. What do you think?"  
"Buck…"  
Jadzia had no words. She pulled back her mind and reached out with her free hand instead, smiling as her fingers touched the short hair. It was automatic, running her hands through the strands, stepping closer at the same time. Her fingers eventually traced down to cup the side of Bucky's face, feeling the cheek muscles underneath bunch up at his soft smile. Jadzia lowered the hand at her mouth to reveal her own beaming face._ _

__"I didn't know if you would think it was anything big," Bucky admitted in a low voice. "Hell, I would have understood if you were disappointed-"  
"Bucky, come on, this is… wow."  
"I'm glad you think so."  
"I'm almost seeing a whole different person," Jadzia joked, but her small laugh was met with silence, and a relaxing of Bucky's facial muscles. "What's wrong?"  
"Nothing." Bucky's voice was soft. "Just what you said about a different person… I feel different too, you know? Being surrounded by other soldiers, I just kept shifting between one role in one war, to another role in a different one. Sergeant Barnes, the Winter Soldier, White Wolf… sometimes I feel like I can't stop fighting. And when it gets worse, sometimes I wonder if all of these things I've been are actually just the same person; just a guy made to fight, to kill people, now with a metal arm. Sam helped, and Steve tried, but… it took a lot to help me realise that I'm not that kind of monster. It took you to convince me I can be more. Or less, if I want to. Through all this mess, you helped me find the part of me that was still Bucky from Brooklyn. That I'm still human. I just needed one more thing to help me see myself back in the mirror, and you helped me with that too." Bucky pocketed the phone and held Jadzia's hand, the one on his cheek. The smile returned, and this time, Jadzia could feel something sweet and genuine behind it. "Happy birthday, Jad. I'm back."_ _

__Jadzia had to swallow the growing lump in her throat, but even so, it was difficult. She moved her other hand up to cup the other side of Bucky's face as well, thumb caressing the skin. All she could manage was a small "Hey", which Bucky gave back with a steadier voice. She only realised how close they were standing when Bucky leaned in, lips brushing tentatively against hers. There was no hesitation when Jadzia kissed him, nor when Bucky kissed back. All those past fears, all those worries Bucky had carried with him melted away, reduced to tiny puddles of water where there had previously been enormous glaciers blocking his way. Bucky was back. He was home. Most of all, he knew, for once, that he was safe._ _

__"Does this mean the pet store visit is a date?" Jadzia asked when they parted for breath.  
"Only if you want it to be."  
"Hm. I can buy us good coffee instead."  
"Done deal."  
Bucky couldn't stop smiling as he touched his forehead to Jadzia's, giving her a cute peck on the nose that made her giggle again. He was about to go in for another kiss, passion burning behind it, when Sam's booming voice startled them apart._ _

__"Hey, you two gonna get- OH, DAMN! RHODEY! YOU OWE ME FORTY BUCKS!"  
"Aw, man!"_ _

__The End :)_ _


End file.
